Dear Nut: Who Are You Really?

Reports last week of Jerry Seinfeld’s return to network TV were apparently greatly exaggerated. But then, this is a story that involves a network, ABC, whose prime-time lineup needs help and a central figure whose identity remains, in the words of one insider, “a bloodless mystery.”

Ted L. Nancy is not Deep Throat. But he is, at the very least, deeply flawed. Nancy is the author of three books--”Letters From a Nut,” “More Letters From a Nut” and “Extra Nutty! Even More Letters From a Nut”--a kind of collected works of his loopy correspondence with corporate America. Nancy, for instance, wrote to the Baseball Hall of Fame in Cooperstown, N.Y., asking if it wanted to enshrine Mickey Mantle’s toenail clippings, which Nancy just happened to have in his possession. The fact that companies responded, in earnest, to Nancy’s requests is where the idiot-meets-idiot comedy comes in, said Barry Marder, who is crafting a TV pilot based on the books. It is also evidently what tickled Seinfeld, who wrote introductions to all three books. The fact that Nancy has not been identified is what has fueled the notion that he is Seinfeld.

The comedian helped pitch “Letters” as a TV show, taking meetings with several networks. When ABC announced a pilot deal last week, speculation flew that Seinfeld would be returning to network TV in some capacity. But he appears only to have been along for the ride as a character witness to the material.

Understanding the power of any press involving the name Seinfeld, ABC did little to quell speculation that the comedian was Nancy. This week, rumors surfaced that Nancy was actually comedian Bruce Baum, or maybe comedian Marder.

Baum, reached in Las Vegas, where he is performing this weekend at the Riviera, said he isn’t Nancy. But Baum, who used to go by the stage name “Babyman” did say he will be a producer on the show. “I wish I could say I was him, with all the attention he’s getting,” Marder added.

This did not exactly seem like a firm denial. If ABC picks up the show, Marder and Rob Lee said they would be executive producers.

And Seinfeld? “I think he’s just a fan of the books,” said Marder.

Nancy is identified on the book jacket as a resident of Thousand Oaks, but attempts to reach him in the past have proved unsuccessful. Seinfeld has also denied being Nancy but acknowledged that he helped get the letters published.

Marder is an old friend of Seinfeld’s from their early-1980s days in stand-up. Since then, Seinfeld has gone on to be Seinfeld. Marder said he has been living off his lucrative Saturday-night earnings from all those years onstage at the Melrose Improv. “I also had a hair salon, and that kept me busy throughout the ‘80s,” he said.

Marder said he’s met Nancy only once. “That was seven years ago, when all this started,” he said.

Hmmm. Would Nancy be participating in the show? And if so, does he have any TV experience?

“I think he was on a ‘Diff’rent Strokes’ episode,” Marder said.