Advice From the Masters
You’re not getting in. Not tonight.
Forget about arguing your case or explaining that you’re really beautiful inside. To catch the doorman’s eye, you’ve got to have the right clothes and project the right attitude.
That’s what Kevin Arnovitz and Tom Williams found out while they were editing and assembling Zagat’s first “Los Angeles Nightlife” guide, which assesses more than 650 bars, clubs and lounges. We asked for their advice on getting past the velvet rope.
* Project confidence. The velvet rope can smell fear and insecurity, so smile widely on your approach, greet the bouncer cordially and act as if this is your weekly jaunt to the Sunday farmers market. Remember, it’s easier to attract bees with honey than with vinegar, so have a good attitude. Bouncers have little patience for petulance from a diva in stilettos or a bruiser in leather.
* Do your homework. Call ahead for details such as door policy, theme nights and guest lists. A sensible way to avoid hassles is to check out a hot club on an off night or to arrive early in the evening before the bouncer assumes his perch.
* It’s all about context. Arrive well-groomed and well-assembled no matter where you go. Clubs look for a diverse, sexy crowd and for those who bring something unique to the party. That said, the clean Prada suit that might write your ticket into Joseph’s on a Monday night could attract dirty looks at the biker bar just over the hill. And, unless you’re in a bar with peanut shells on the floor or a game on the big-screen TV, flip-flops, shorts, baseball caps or T-shirts will get you nothing but a raised eyebrow from the bouncer.
* Remember the ratio. Fellas, avoid marching up to a club with your “Swingers”-esque posse of guys. Club proprietors like to maintain a healthy ratio of women to men. Don’t expect any fraternal empathy from the bouncer.
* Cut your losses. Waiting outside for divine intervention from the nightlife gods is a bad idea. If you’ve been there more than five minutes and sense you’re on the outside looking in, you probably are--for whatever reason. Don’t cause a scene. Chalk it up to experience.
* To thine own self be true. If you don’t feel comfortable in the painted-on jeans or super-starched shirts that everyone seems to be wearing on site, chances are that it’s not your crowd. Keep looking. The clubs might discriminate, but Los Angeles takes all kinds.