The (Your Name) Editorial

Naming things has always been an American penchant. You can do that with start-up countries. Americans then named territories and 50 states whose boundaries were unrecognized by longtime native residents who had their own names anyway. Americans named mountains that had somehow survived eons without English names. Towns were named for surveyors and railroad engineers. Developers named suburban streets for relatives. Some areas set quotas of streets to be named for veterans. Portions of California freeways carry someone’s name. We even stick our own babies with grandparents’ old-fashioned names to smooth relationships with the elders today, never mind the kid manipulating that moniker as an adult.

What’s increasingly lucrative, however, is selling naming rights. It makes some cents; Americans are attentive to money. Imagine how much Americus Vespucius would pay to name the hemisphere. American holiday football bowls, once dubbed for regional fruits or crops, now carry the names of an air freight line or a Finnish telephone company. The snazzy jumpsuits of racing car drivers appear sewed together by overlapping brand patches. Individual football kickoffs and halftime shows, hockey face-offs, even certain replays are named for particular products, like the American Express Check of the Game.

Stadiums and arenas, of course, have garnered multiple millions for adding company names, the goal being publicity from every event there. There are problems at times; in recent days workers removed Enron’s name from Houston’s stadium, which will now be the Reliant Astrodome in exchange for a mere $300 million. But this suggests possibilities for financially pressed individuals in financially pressed states.

What discount retailer wouldn’t want its name on countless houses? The Wal-Mart Wallace Residence. Ralph & Lisa Taylor’s Target Household. Let’s invite car dealers to sponsor government buildings: The Capitol Ford Capitol could bring millions to state coffers.

The biggest naming opportunity yet may be in New York City, now run by Michael Bloomberg. He named a news service after himself and then spent 69 million of his own dollars to be named New York’s 108th mayor. It may be too much to buy the entire city and rename it Bloomberg. But to help cover New York’s $4-billion-plus budget deficit, officials are considering actually selling four East River bridges--the Manhattan, Williamsburg, Queensboro and, yes, the Brooklyn Bridge, which many nonowners have attempted to sell in the past.

Why not sell naming rights for these spans? If Abraham Lincoln can put his name on a tunnel there and George Washington’s John Hancock hangs on another river crossing, how about the Bloomberg Bridge? It could have the right ring--for the right price.