Jobs and Children: Parents Have Choices

Re “Kids or Cash: Why Force Women to Choose?” Opinion, May 12: Ann Crittenden’s poignant opinion on Sylvia Ann Hewlett’s “Creating a Life: Professional Women and the Quest for Children” considers only one side of the coin. The other side--fathers--is glaringly absent. Women do indeed provide the womb for reproduction. And many continue to work their regular jobs during this time. But once out of the womb, children have two parents. I have never seen any media hype over the adverse effects on children whose fathers are rarely around because they work 50-plus hours.

We are so quick to criticize divorced mothers or deadbeat dads. But why don’t we expect fathers with high-powered careers to make the appropriate sacrifices for their children? Fathers also should consider taking on less-prestigious careers and taking more time off. I know a handful of fathers who choose their children over their work. They take paternity leave, reduce their work hours, change career paths or stay at home while their wives work--all so they can witness their children’s first steps, tuck them into bed and attend their soccer games. But there are still far too few of these men. In this culture, mothers, more often than not, choose to leave themselves behind and take care of their children. Isn’t it time we expect fathers to do the same?

Barbara Zaragoza

San Diego

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Gosh, poor American women--still victims after all these years. They have to face “harsh, either-or choices between children and well-paying jobs.” What will Crittenden and her high-powered female moguls have to endure next--a mind-bending choice between a vanilla ice cream cone and chocolate-covered bonbons? A red BMW or a candy-apple Lamborghini?

Spare me the we’re-not-being-treated-as-well-as-Swedish-women tears. American women have never had it so good.

Carl Moore

Lomita