Only Thing Missing Is a Pink Cadillac

Jerry West, president of basketball operations for the Memphis Grizzlies, is planning on buying a “modest” 15,000-square-foot house in Southwind, an upscale gated community, according to Jerome Obermark of the Memphis Commercial Appeal.

The asking price is $3.9 million with seven acres, or $4.5 million with 13 acres.

It has 16 rooms, including five bedrooms, six bathrooms, three half-bathrooms, six fireplaces, a paneled library, a weight room and a three-car garage.

What? No basketball court?

Trivia time: Which was the first NBA team to win three consecutive championships?

Come again? Jose Canseco’s retirement recalls the appraisal of him early in his career by Detroit Tiger manager Sparky Anderson: “I’ll tell you what. This kid is going to be something. Just look at him. He’s built like a Greek goddess.”

More Canseco: After a few years with the Oakland Athletics, he predicted he would become the first 50-50 player--50 home runs, 50 steals--but said he couldn’t do it at the Oakland Coliseum unless the fences were moved in.

Said Sandy Alderson, then the Athletics’ general manager: “We’d be happy to shorten the basepaths.”

Average guy: And this, from Canseco: “I see myself as a common person. I watch cartoons like everyone else.”

Bulletin board material: Rick Telander in the Chicago Sun-Times before Saturday’s Laker-King game: “The Kings’ Vlade Divac has made some asinine statement about L.A. not winning a third straight title this year because the Lakers don’t have home-court advantage. Way to go, Vlade.

“If there is any hope for a team to beat the Lakers, it is that Shaq and Kobe are either injured or asleep. Tossing insults their way pretty much takes care of the latter solution.”

Cold response: Dan Devine, the former Notre Dame and Green Bay Packer coach who recently died at 77, coached Missouri to a 69-21 pounding of Kansas in 1969. Kansas people believed he ran up the score.

Said Kansas coach Pepper Rodgers: “I flashed him the peace sign and he gave me half of it back.”

Hogging the limelight: Kansas City Royal coach John Mizerock is from Punxsutawney, Pa., and reporters ask him questions about his home town.

Suffice to say he isn’t a big fan of the town’s most famous resident: “I try not to be home for Groundhog Day.”

Really unfair: Bud Geracie in the San Jose Mercury News: “According to Maverick owner Mark Cuban, 7-5 Chinese star Yao Ming is ‘playing against guys half his size.’ That’s [nearly] 3-9.”

More Geracie: “During a Giant game at Montreal, a foul ball shattered a window behind home plate, causing an 18-minute pane delay.”

Trivia answer: The Minneapolis Lakers, 1952-1954.

And finally: Scott Ostler in the San Francisco Chronicle: “Mavericks: Most luxurious airplane, cushiest bench seats, plushest locker room, softest towels and robes, hardest fall. At least it won’t be tough to find people to blame, since the Mavs have 16 assistant coaches.”