Marriage Brings Advantages to Clergy

As a pastor, I have been asked, “Should celibacy be required for priests, bishops or pastors?” The current controversy in the Catholic Church about pedophile priests has renewed the debate on clergy celibacy. Does celibacy contribute to pedophilia? The question is argued both ways.

Regardless of your view, celibacy is not for everyone, and required celibacy for priests needs serious examination.

While in high school, my oldest daughter, Julie, was asked by a classmate, “Is your dad a priest or minister or something like that?” Julie replied, “Yes, he’s a minister.” With a look of confusion, the girl asked, “How did you get here?” Shocked, she did not realize that most members of the clergy are married. My wife, Joanne, and I have been married for 33 years.

My first pastoral responsibility began the day we returned from our honeymoon. With a salary of $150 a month and a church member’s garage converted into a bedroom, we poured long hours into mending lives and connecting people with God. Our marriage deepened as we prayed together, partnered together and sometimes wept together.

Joanne has been my confidant, best friend and lover. Numerous times, her advice has spared me from a foolish decision. Trained as a psychiatric nurse, she has insight and understanding into people and situations, which are of great value. Many seek her out for counseling, and in particular, women often feel more comfortable discussing issues with her.

I shudder to think of how I would have responded to moral temptations if I had been single. I cannot fathom surviving some of the intense pressures of ministry without Joanne by my side.

Is celibacy good? St. Paul said: “Yes, it is good to live a celibate life. But because there is so much sexual immorality, each man should have his own wife, and each woman should have her own husband.” (1 Corinthians 7:1- 2).

Being single allows complete devotion of time and energy to serving God and others. Henrietta Mears remained single throughout her life and distinguished ministry at the First Presbyterian Church of Hollywood. The Sunday school grew to 4,000, and she influenced more than 400 to enter full-time Christian service.

St. Paul also said: “I wish everyone could get along without marrying, just as I do. But we are not all the same. God gives some the gift of marriage, and to others he gives the gift of singleness.” (1 Corinthians 7:7). Some believe Paul may have been married since this was a strict requirement of being a Pharisee. Did Paul’s wife leave him or perhaps die prematurely? Of this, we cannot be certain.

The word “priest” in Latin means “a bridge builder.” Identification with the hurt in people’s lives is an important component in the bridge. When a stressed couple is struggling over a less-than-satisfying sexual relationship, the married pastor will certainly be in a position to better understand and assist.

John Walsh, a devout Catholic who started the highly successful “America’s Most Wanted,” lost his son Adam when he was abducted and later found murdered. Walsh said that, as a grieving parent, it would have been helpful to talk with a priest who had children and understood his loss.

Unfortunately, celibacy, when required as a condition of the priesthood, has become a “bridge leading to deeply troubled waters.” God-designed sexual passion is normal, wonderful, but exceedingly powerful. Sexual passions need appropriate expression, and mandatory celibacy, while well-intended, may contribute to inappropriate sexual behaviors. It is time to end the practice of mandatory celibacy.