Play by Play

FIRST INNING

TWINS: Twins 0, Angels 0--Jacque Jones flied to right. Cristian Guzman grounded to short. Corey Koskie struck out swinging. He has struck out in six straight at-bats. He’s like Rob Deer’s clone, without the homers. No runs, no hits.

ANGELS: Twins 0, Angels 0--David Eckstein struck out swinging. That was a short at-bat. Darin Erstad struck out swinging on a ball he would have needed a telephone pole to reach. Tim Salmon grounded to third. No runs, no hits.

SECOND INNING

TWINS: Twins 0, Angels 0--David Ortiz struck out swinging. Torii Hunter popped to first. Doug Mientkiewicz grounded to second. Somebody call Don Larsen. No runs, no hits.

ANGELS: Angels 0, Twins 0--Garret Anderson grounded to short. Troy Glaus popped to shallow center. Brad Fullmer struck out swinging. No runs, no hits.

THIRD INNING

TWINS: Angels 0, Twins 0--Dustan Mohr hit a broken-bat single to left-center. A.J. Pierzynski grounded to second. Adam Kennedy bobbled the ball and was only able to get the force at second. Luis Rivas batting. Pierzynski was thrown out attempting to steal. Someone missed the hit-and-run sign. And the way Pierzynski reacted, it must have been Rivas. Rivas singled to left. Jones lined to first. No runs, two hits, one left.

ANGELS: Angels 0, Twins 0--Scott Spiezio popped to short. Bengie Molina popped to second. The crowd at Edison Field is overflowing with Rally Monkeys, and Fox is showing all of them. Jane Goodall must be in heaven. Adam Kennedy grounded to short. Here’s an idea for the Twins: Have Charlton Heston throw out the first pitch in Game 6 (if you make it that far) and let him say his classic “Planet of the Apes” line: “Take your paws off me.... “ No runs, no hits.

FOURTH INNING

TWINS: Angels 0, Twins 0--Guzman grounded to first, pitcher covering. John Travolta is in the stands. Give my best to Horshack. Koskie hit a looper that was caught by Eckstein. Ortiz struck out swinging. No runs, no hits.

ANGELS: Angels 0, Twins 0--Eckstein singled to right. Erstad flied to left. Salmon popped to shallow right, Rivas making a great play by holding onto the ball while Mohr ran into him and knocked him down. Anderson grounded to short. No runs, one hit, one left.

FIFTH INNING

TWINS: Angels 0, Twins 0--Hunter grounded to second, pitcher covering. Mientkiewicz, whose name is also the eye chart at several optometry offices, grounded to short. Mohr struck out swinging. No runs, no hits.

ANGELS: Angels 0, Twins 0--Glaus lined to second. Fullmer flied out to the right-field fence. It looked like every ball hit by Eric Karros this season. Spiezio was jammed and grounded to third. No runs, no hits.

SIXTH INNING

TWINS: Angels 0, Twins 0--Pierzynski grounded to second. Rivas hit a slow bouncer up the middle, Kennedy making a nice play to throw him out. Fox Instapoll: “If you had the money, which team would you buy?” If I had the money, I’d buy Fox and hire some cameramen who knew something about baseball. Could we cut off the fielder’s glove in every shot? It’s nice not being able to tell where the ball is going. Jones struck out swinging. No runs, no hits.

ANGELS: Angels 0, Twins 0--Molina singled to center. Kennedy sacrificed. Eckstein lined to second, Rivas threw to Guzman and doubled Molina off second. Poor baserunning by Molina. No runs, no hits.

SEVENTH INNING

TWINS: Angels 0, Twins 0--Guzman struck out attempting to bunt for a hit. Koskie struck out -- again -- looking. Ortiz singled to center. Hunter grounded to short. Eckstein looks as though he is straining himself even on those short throws to second. It reminds me of the good ol’ days when Billy Barty would play during Hollywood Stars night at Dodger Stadium. No runs, one hit, one left.

ANGELS: Angels 2, Twins 0--Erstad singled to center. Salmon batting. Erstad stole second and took third when the throw bounced into center. Salmon walked. Anderson swung at the first pitch and popped to third. Nice at-bat. Did Doug DeCinces tell you to do that? Glaus singled to left, Erstad scoring, Salmon to second. Alex Ochoa ran for Salmon. Fullmer struck out. There’s a kid in a really bad monkey suit jumping up and down in the stands behind home plate. It looks like a low-budget version of “Return of the Jedi.” Remember, children are our future. Spiezio hit a blooper that landed just inside the right-field line for a double, Ochoa scoring, Glaus to third. Molina was hit by a pitch. Johan Santana pitching. Kennedy grounded to first. Two runs, three hits, three left.

EIGHTH INNING

TWINS: Angels 2, Twins 0--Francisco Rodriguez pitching. Ochoa in right. Mientkiewicz doubled on a blooper to center that Erstad was unable to come up with despite a great effort. Mohr struck out swinging. Pierzynski grounded to second, Mientkiewicz to third. Bobby Kielty, batting for Rivas, struck out swinging. This Rodriguez kid might have a future in this game. No runs, one hit, one left.

ANGELS: Angels 7, Twins 0--David Lamb at second. Eckstein popped to first. Erstad singled to left-center. Erstad took second on a bad pickoff throw. Why does Erstad’s helmet come off when he runs? Maybe he knocks it off on purpose so it looks like he’s running fast. That’s an old Pete Rose trick. LaTroy Hawkins pitching. Ochoa grounded to short, Erstad to third. J.C. Romero pitching. Anderson singled to right, Erstad scoring. Mike Jackson pitching. Ron Gardenhire changes pitchers more often than Tony La Russa. Glaus singled to left. Fullmer doubled to right, Anderson and Glaus scoring. Those pitching moves really paid off. Spiezio was walked intentionally. Molina tripled to center, Fullmer and Spiezio scoring. Bob Wells pitching. Do the Twins have any other pitchers they can bring in? Where’s Terry Felton? Kennedy struck out looking. Five runs, five hits, one left.

NINTH INNING

TWINS: Angels 7, Twins 0--Ben Weber pitching. Jones lined to short. Guzman grounded to second. Koskie doubled to center. Ortiz singled to right, Koskie scoring. Hunter struck out swinging. One run, two hits, one left.