Hope springs universal

I enjoyed Mark Miller’s article (“Finding a Soul Mate Is a Numbers Game, Actually,” April 10) and since I am newly single, how does one go about even meeting anyone of substance? Where? The bar scene is an “ugh.” I picture myself with ratted hair, mole, collagen lips, implants and a cig hanging out of my mouth, “How ya doin’, sweetheart. Gay? Single? Killer? Weirdo? Desire to be a woman who wants to be with a man or vice versa? Any of those things apply to you? No? Maybe one? Oh, well, have a seat.” Or the Internet scene -- way too scary.

And do people still have manners (which I really like)? Or say the much dreaded “I’ll call you”? Horrible, horrible, horrible words. That’s when I know they are not my soul mate. Next.

So far, I have had one date that fell asleep. He said he felt comfortable with me. What am I, a blanket? Next date was good but already imagining us on a Sunday morn; not that it would be a bad thing, just would like a little more time. Let’s make out at least or hold hands, that good goo-goo stuff that everyone pretends they don’t want, or can’t even say they do, but want really, really, terribly badly.

We are all humanly flawed, but if the overall picture is a good one, then OK. But that takes time to find out. I did learn one really important lesson: listening. In the first 15 minutes of conversation, people will tell you everything they want and don’t want. It’s amazing. Try it.

Kitty Rourke

Sherman Oaks

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I would guess that Mark Miller is in his mid-to-late 20s? Maybe 30 is encroaching and he is getting scared that he’s not with someone? This feeling of guilt is something that society puts upon us so that we may be paired up (like Noah’s Ark) to someone because we shouldn’t be alone in this universe.

Women (like myself) over 30 who have never married get these feelings and reactions all the time from family, friends and co-workers. The reactions and responses I get are: “Why isn’t this attractive women married?” “Oh, I know of someone.” “You have to meet my brother, cousin, etc.” “You’re divorced or separated, aren’t you?” “Are you gay?” “Don’t you want children?” Take some advice: Stay a hopeless romantic and, for God’s sake, stay single as long as you can. I have been to six weddings in the last four years and only one of the marriages is working. All wish that they had remained single.

TV shows like “The Bachelor,” “The Millionaire,” etc., are playing on single people who desperately need a mate for life, so they end up on shows like these. Shows such as “The Bachelor” make me run the opposite direction and make me hope for Dracula to come out of the woodwork. At least he has a personality!

Nancy Miles

Whittier

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I absolutely loved Mark Miller’s article about finding a soul mate. It was so accurate in describing how we search for the right person and how most everything in life seems to be a compromise. I have to say that I am finally with my soul mate. Of course, I knew it almost from the beginning when I first met him about 15 years ago. Unfortunately, it took him two divorces and me several frogs before we wound up together.

I am now 60, and a ravishing redhead I might add, and that’s probably why the article was especially meaningful to me. When we first got back together a year ago January, he initially wanted me to dye my hair back to brown (the color when he first met me). Now, he loves it red (or at least pretends to), and I honestly believe he does look at me across the table and thinks, “I am incredibly lucky to be with her” (or at least acts like he’s thinking it). I mean, the man makes me coffee in the morning and scoops out my ice cream at night because he knows I hate being cold.

I advise others to keep believing that it can happen!

Diane Larsen

Marina del Rey

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Mark Miller’s article was really funny. As I read it, I couldn’t believe someone else is as anal retentive as I am, especially a guy! It was really humorous and sweet. If you ever want to polish my soup ladles, you know how to reach me.

Susie Valenzuela

Rosemead