My car can beat up your car

There is no question that the Army’s High Mobility Multipurpose Wheeled Vehicle -- the Humvee -- was the automotive “Scud Stud” of the 1991 Persian Gulf War.

But what about the current conflict?

Has a mode of transportation emerged that will capture the public’s fancy?

That depends on whether you have the vision to look at the Bradley fighting vehicle and see it being wheeled around your neighborhood with a “My Kid Is an Honor Student” bumper sticker.

Although it’s on the large side, even for an SUV, the 21-foot-long, 10-foot-wide, 50,000-pound Bradley seems perfectly designed to meet the demands of modern-day motoring.

For starters, it holds three crew members and seven fully equipped soldiers, so you can probably cram the dog, groceries and at least a dozen neighborhood kids into its spacious confines.

It’s also great in the sand, thanks to the long, wide bulldozer tracks that take the place of the standard wheels.

And nothing on the road today can touch it for safety. Not only will another vehicle simply bounce off it, but the Bradley’s tough shell also repels stones, roadside debris and even the occasional rocket-propelled grenade from an irate driver.

Away from the neighborhood, the Bradley is a great choice for commuting.

Sitting in the turret 10 feet up in the air, the driver is afforded excellent visibility. No side-view mirror blind spots with this baby.

The 600-horsepower engine delivers all the power one needs for left-lane driving, and the vehicle’s commanding presence assures the commute will always be smooth.

With a roaring Bradley coming up from behind, there won’t be anybody poking along in the passing lane.

Nor will tailgaters be a concern, because the Bradley has the capability of producing a thick smoke screen with just the touch of a button.

And as for bumper-to-bumper traffic, the key phrase to keep in mind here is this -- up and over.

The other advantage the Bradley provides the harried commuter is respect. No more being intimidated by the lead-footed good old boys in the big rigs.

When you own a Bradley, you own the road. But don’t take my word for it; ask those who were there -- the Iraqi army.

The Bradley fighting vehicle comes nicely equipped for just $3.2 million.

Sylvester Stallone has already bought one; Arnold has six on order.