Odds Are Mickelson Will Flop in This Shot

He hasn’t had any luck in the majors, so why not give the minors a try?

Phil Mickelson will try out today with Detroit’s triple-A affiliate, the Toledo Mud Hens, in hopes of pitching this weekend. “Lefty” -- whose 21 victories on the PGA Tour are the most by any player who has never won a major -- pitches right-handed.

“This is a lifetime dream of mine,” Mickelson said in a statement, “and I’m extremely grateful to the Toledo organization for giving me the chance to live it.”

He has been working with former Texas Ranger pitching coach Tom House and recently threw to six players from the double-A Akron Aeros during the NEC Invitational. He offered $300 to anyone who could hit a homer, but nobody was able to tee off against him.

Mickelson isn’t quitting his day job. He has won almost $25 million, and counting, on the golf course.

Trivia time: Why did Michael Schumacher make a late pit stop in the 1999 French Grand Prix?

Sibling silliness: Here’s a sampling of Venus and Serena Williams presenting the top 10 reasons they aren’t playing at the U.S. Open on “The Late Show with David Letterman:”

* “Due to the bad economy, this year’s winner only gets 30 bucks.”

* “We can’t give you any details, but we’re very close to catching Saddam.”

* “You can only hit a ball over the net so many times without getting bored silly.”

* “We’re spending time in the lab developing a third, even more powerful Williams sister.”

* “What? The U.S. Open is this week?”

* “Surprise! We’re running for governor of California.”

Take a seat: Laker fans aren’t the only ones anxious about their team’s future. Portland Trail Blazer season-ticket holders had a lot of questions in a recent meeting with General Manager Steve Patterson. He told them that because of Damon Stoudamire’s big contract and arrest for marijuana possession this summer, he couldn’t trade the guard “for a chair.”

Power ball: Jesse Orosco knows who gave up the last home run hit by Bobby Bonds ... he did.

“Off a fastball,” said Orosco, 46. “It was a towering, high home run. Straight up and out. We don’t forget them.”

Orosco, designated for assignment this week by the Yankees, was in his second big league season when Bonds, who died Saturday at 57, homered off him on Sept. 24, 1981.

“Bobby was just one strong person,” Orosco said, “just like his son.”

Splendid splits: It was recently revealed that his severed and frozen head had several cracks in it, but it turns out not all the news is bad on the Ted Williams front. The Denver Post reports that his son, John Henry, hit a foul ball that two-hopped the fence the other day for the independent Baton Rouge River Bats.

Talk about a chip off the old block.

Trivia answer: He needed a new steering wheel.

And finally: Scott Ostler in the San Francisco Chronicle: “Now that Mark Madsen has been traded from the big city to the Minnesota Timberwolves, he plans to go by his Native American name, Dances With Difficulty.”

-- John Weyler