Alhambra’s Got Plenty of Neighbors in the Land of the Celebrity Insult

As you may have read, record promoter/murder suspect Phil Spector said he chose to live in a hillside estate in Alhambra because it’s “a hick town where there is no place to go that you shouldn’t.” Alhambrans shouldn’t be angry; they should feel honored -- or at least accepted. Their city has joined a long list of local places that have drawn insults from celebrities. To wit:

* “Everybody’s into health in Beverly Hills. You’re not considered legally dead until you lose your tan.” (Joan Rivers)

* “On a daily average, Burbank Airport has 94 departures. No arrivals. Just departures.” (Johnny Carson)

* “You could take all of the sincerity in Hollywood, put it in a flea’s nose, and you’d still have room for four caraway seeds and an agent’s heart.” (comic Fred Allen)

* “Cleveland with palm trees.” (Bob Hope on the San Fernando Valley)

* “Big hard-boiled city with no more personality than a paper cup.” (novelist Raymond Chandler on L.A.)

Or, if you prefer an updated (and timely) slam at the City of Angels, consider David Letterman’s suggested motto: “Los Angeles: Floods, Fire and Fun.”

Can you dig it? Abe Weiss of Pasadena spotted a listing for a house that is advertised as portable, though it seems to have pretty firm foundations (see above).

On the other hand ... : A car that Allan Rotman of West L.A. found for sale doesn’t seem to be movable (see above).

You don’t say: The Times’ Geraldine Wilkins snapped our “Duh!” winner at Chapman University (see photo).

Harrumph for Hollywood! There must have been other Civic Center commuters, besides myself, who were none too thrilled on Wednesday morning to find, in the midst of the biggest downpour in months, a block of 3rd Street closed. For a movie company.

Every other American film, of course, is made in Canada or Mexico (or New Zealand). But not this one, not this day.

Drivers slowed to a crawl while cops directed them around barricades, caterers, equipment trucks, limos, etc., etc.

All together now: “Cut!”

miscelLAny: A statue of John Wayne still stands outside a Wilshire Boulevard office building that formerly housed Great Western Savings (see file photo).

Wayne appeared in commercials for Great Western, which has since gone to the great beyond.

The odd thing is that the building is now, as its giant roof sign proclaims, the home of Flynt Publications.

So, the politically conservative Wayne serves as a sort of sentry for the porn king. I don’t think the Duke would be happy about that.

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Steve Harvey can be reached at (800) LA-TIMES, ext. 77083, by fax at (213) 237-4712, by mail at Metro, L.A. Times, 202 W. 1st St., L.A. 90012 and by e-mail at steve.harvey@latimes.com.