City of a Thousand Names

Yo, Paulie, the city of Philadelphia may be on to something. It’s seriously pondering selling municipal product endorsements to raise badly needed cash. It wouldn’t be the first place to sell intangibles. Universities have done that for generations -- witness the unfamiliar names of rich, dead or dead rich people adorning campus structures everywhere.

So, faced with a municipal budget deficit around $834 million by 2008, Mayor John Street’s folks are picking up any pennies they can find in the streets. They’re looking into the City of Brotherly Love selling its name to soft drinks, office products, athletic shoes. They find $12 million a reasonable estimated revenue for allowing companies to associate themselves somehow with Rocky’s hometown.

“Each one of our citizens represents a potential market for these companies,” said Janice Davis, city finance director.

Coca-Cola, for instance, could purchase exclusive rights to sell its products in all of Philadelphia’s public buildings. Philadelphia Cream Cheese could become Philadelphia’s Official Cheese, even on Philly cheese steaks. City officials said they wouldn’t necessarily approve slapping product names on buildings; for example, in Los Angeles terms, the Bad Boyz Bail Bond Hall of Justice or the AAMCO Parking Violator Impoundment Facility. But Dell could be allowed to provide all city computers and therefore call itself Official Computer of the City of Philadelphia.

Never mind whether anyone pays attention to such claims. It’s all part of making your corporate symbol ubiquitous. And, remember, every dollar voluntarily paid by companies is one less tax dollar levied.

Nike could donate to recreation centers and advertise there. Or it could theoretically provide footwear to the entire Fire Department and bill itself as Official Running Shoes of Philadelphia Firefighters. The police could endorse driving schools, rugged pickup trucks and Mace “as seen on news reports after the Eagles’ playoff loss.” Excedrin might become the official headache remedy of Philadelphia bureaucrats -- and their customers.

L.A. could enter the endorsement fray, lending its name to sunglasses, shaped only for atop the head, and bottled water meant only for stylish carrying, not drinking. But why limit endorsements to cities? Why shouldn’t da little guy get a piece of da action beyond the birthplace of democracy? Dodge Caravan, Official Vehicle of the Fenton Family. Chuck Wilson’s Condo, Where Campbell’s Chunky Soups Reign. The Grafton Home, Proud Consumer of Vons Foods. Chances are most families would endorse something for less than $12 million.