At Least They Have Pranks for Memories

There’s humor, and then there’s baseball humor, and any reporter who had the (mis)fortune to have been in the clubhouse with pitcher Bert Blyleven when he was with the Angels will attest to that.

The Minnesota Twins are looking for someone like that now that David Ortiz has moved on to the Boston Red Sox after the Twins released him in December.

Gordon Wittenmyer of the St. Paul Pioneer Press got to remembering Ortiz’s pranks and also one played on Ortiz by Manager Ron Gardenhire.

“Gardenhire got him to swing a club at an exploding golf ball last spring, making Ortiz believe for a moment that he had destroyed a real ball -- with half the regulars on the team exploding in laughter at his reaction,” Wittenmyer wrote.

Trivia time: How many victories did Blyleven record in his major league career?

Yawner: The Canadian Internet site, www.canoe.ca, was curious about the level of interest in tonight’s Mike Tyson-Clifford Etienne bout in Memphis, Tenn. It posed the question: Who will win?

The leading vote getter was neither fighter. As of Friday afternoon, there were 265 votes: 23% for Tyson, 14% for Etienne and 63% for I Don’t Care. We’re not sure if Don King is managing the burgeoning career of I Don’t Care these days.

Poll II: This question appeared on the Web site of the Globe and Mail: “Should former Canadian [golf] tour champion Brian Kontak be allowed to compete in an LPGA event?”

There was more response to that than the Tyson question, 533 responses. Sixty percent said no, and 40% percent voted yes.

Trading places: Hartford Courant columnist Jeff Jacobs asked the question that probably has crossed the mind of many a basketball fan in regard to Connecticut women’s Coach Geno Auriemma.

“But let’s be honest. Wouldn’t you love to see him coach the men?” Jacobs wrote.

Auriemma believes he could do it.

“From a technical standpoint, there are a lot of coaches in America who’d do a great job coaching at any level,” he told Jacobs. “Bill Fitch, K.C. Jones and Chris Ford looked like really good coaches when Larry Bird played [for the Boston Celtics]. They didn’t look nearly as good when he didn’t.

“I know there’s a double standard out there. If you read between the lines, there’s this feeling of, ‘Yeah, your teams are really good, and you’re doing great, but that stuff would never work in men’s basketball.’ ”

Kent’s cure: Houston Chronicle columnist Fran Blinebury, on the new kid in the Astro clubhouse:

“Jeff Kent brought the flu bug into the Astros’ camp. For that there are remedies.

“Perhaps of greater concern is whether he’s also a carrier of the discord virus. It can be deadly.”

Trivia answer: 287. He started his career with the Twins and finished with the Angels.

And finally: Mike Bianchi of the Orlando Sentinel on the plan of new Bengal Coach Marvin Lewis to close practices to outside observers:

“I’ve got a better idea: How about closing the Bengals’ games to outside observers?”