Women Still Suffer Under ‘Mr. Right’ Myth

Re “Reality TV Exposes a Real Dating Dilemma,” Commentary, Jan. 23: Once again we get the oldest sexist story in the book -- women are victims, used and abused by those bastards, men. Please! Jennifer Grossman is coming from the old-fashioned idea that women need to be married to be happy. Our culture still buys into the fairy tale that romance and finding Mr. Right are the end-all of womanhood. Do you see men being force-fed this falsehood?

What really galls is Grossman’s phrase, “ ... until women are willing to step forward and reclaim their romantic destinies, they remain passive participants in a game rigged against them.” Romantic destinies? What is that? If I’m not in a romantic relationship, life isn’t worth living? Maybe for some people, but surely not all. Some of the biggest romantics I’ve known have been men. So let’s move past the blame game and into the 21st century. Any woman who’s a “passive participant” deserves what she gets. Life is about choices, and the women I admire aren’t pining away, waiting for their prince, frog or “Joe Millionaire” to sweep them off their feet.

Marie Bain

North Hollywood

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Grossman’s column makes some valid points but unfairly puts all the onus for the decline in romance and relationships on today’s young men. It seems more accurate that the two sides of the Gen-X generation should share the blame equally. Humiliating “reality” shows exist only to appeal to this advertising-friendly demographic. The media are quick to put down the idealism of the boomer generation, but what does one make of this group that will stab each other in the back and willingly participate in TV producers’ deceitful schemes for 15 minutes of notoriety?

We should not hold out much optimism for Gen-Y either, which is following them. MTV’s mass marketers have already divided the “Jackass” generation into “mooks” and “midriffs” designed to create mindless young males and sexually objectified females. Why aren’t young men marching to the altar for matrimony these days? It’s probably because they don’t even know what the word means.

Kenny Feuerman

Beverly Hills