Frogs, princes and everything in between

I read with interest Maria Elena Fernandez’s article, “Inside Every Frog Hides a Prince,” (June 5) relating Alison Armstrong’s philosophy on frogs and princes. This is the exact opposite of what I believe -- a frog is a frog is a frog!

Armstrong indicates that a man at a seminar told her that she was a “frog farmer.” He implied that she was turning princes into frogs. Rather, I believe that Armstrong might have been a woman who perpetually dated frogs. But I doubt that she created them.

Likewise, I don’t believe that every man is both a prince and a frog. True, some princes may have frog-like qualities. But there’s a limit. When I am dating a man, I keep track of his “Ribbet Index.” His bad behavior or unlikable habits might rate him one to five ribbets or even up to nine ribbets. But once he hits 10 on the ribbet scale, he is said to “croak” and, for me, he is officially labeled a “frog.”

And contrary to what Armstrong believes, I believe frogs do not turn into princes. The opposite, however, can be true -- princes do turn into frogs. Just ask any woman who’s divorced! And, no, I am not a woman who is mad at men. In fact, I love men. But I am clear that any man who is not my prince is indeed a frog. Marilyn Anderson

Marina Del Rey

Marilyn Anderson is the author of “Never Kiss a Frog: A Girl’s Guide to Creatures From the Dating Swamp” and operates the Web site www.neverkissa frog.com.

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To stereotype all men into three groups -- most of which has to do with money and ambition -- is as demeaning to men as it is to women. Frankly, a marriage for convenience based only on a so-called “woman’s need to be cared for” sounds like something out of the Taliban.

Inside, most men are potential princes. Their emergence and maturity have a lot more to do with mutual genuine caring, respect, support, encouragement, lifelong emotional growth, and acceptance of commitment and responsibility than in checking off which “stage” he may or may not be at.

I’ve been married 45 years to a prince -- and a frog -- and a knight and a king and growing, caring soul companion and partner. I wouldn’t trade him for all the stereotyped romance novel “heroes” in Armstrong’s mishmash of pop-psych.

Bonnie Compton Hanson

Santa Ana