The Perfect Shop for Your Spring War-Drobe ... and Your Dog’s
She stands in the picture window just off Rodeo Drive, a mannequin smartly attired in a tight black leather skirt, slinky pink top, and nuclear/bio/chemical gas mask.
The modern Westside woman isn’t just dressed for spring, she’s dressed for war. And you and your entire family can be, too.
But run, don’t walk, to the Counter Spy Shop on Wilshire Boulevard in Beverly Hills, just off Rodeo Drive and around the corner from Louis Vuitton. Rafael Garcia, the sales manager, says he’s had a run on gas masks. In fact, he’s currently sold out of the $499 MK3, which is designed to keep you breathing for eight hours after an attack, depending.
“Obviously,” Garcia says, if you’re under the mushroom cloud, “you’re pretty much fried at that point.”
I thought it was only fair to check in with Garcia after reporting from Washington, D.C., that residents there are far more uptight than we are. A Washington columnist recommended buying inflatable kayaks to ply the Potomac in the event of an attack, and she wasn’t kidding.
Garcia says sales here aren’t as brisk as in Counter Spy’s New York and Washington outlets. But he can top the kayak story.
Moms and dads are dropping by the Beverly Hills outlet to purchase gas masks for themselves, the kids, and -- are you ready for this? -- for Bowser, too.
“Only in L.A.,” said Garcia.
Now please, before pet lovers from Santa Barbara to San Diego rush to the Counter Spy Shop with pups in tow, let me clarify something. The store doesn’t actually have a gas mask made specifically for dogs, or cats, for that matter.
But when customers brought a German shepherd into the Counter Spy Shop and asked what could be done, Garcia’s industrious staff rose to the challenge. It modified a plastic “Infant/Child Protection” suit to fashion a mask for the dog.
So if you find yourself racing for the hills after the Big One hits, and you happen to see a family calmly walking their dog in the park, you’ll know the story. And no need to worry about Fido getting thirsty under his see-through shield. The child-protection suit comes with a “self-contained drinking system.”
The German shepherd came into the Counter Spy Shop for measurements, Garcia said, and the custom-tailored mask was delivered a short time later.
“And the price didn’t seem to faze them,” Garcia said of the owners.
It set them back roughly the same as a sale-rack Armani -- somewhere between $1,200 and $1,500. Let’s just pray that this information doesn’t get into the hands of terrorists, who seem to think Americans enjoy a culture of excess while half the world goes hungry.
Tragically, Garcia’s staff was unable to work the same magic on another dog that trotted in for a fitting. A Chihuahua apparently has too small a head to have any hope of surviving the war. It’s kind of a Darwinian thing, I guess.
Garcia said several other shoppers have purchased gear to make protective suits for their dogs, but they didn’t actually bring the pups in for fittings.
The Counter Spy Shop, by the way, has been around for years. It offers the latest in security, surveillance and counter-surveillance products to law enforcement agencies, corporations and individuals.
If you’re looking for neckties or sunglasses with hidden cameras, or for state-of-the-art lie-detection equipment, this is the place. The spy shop also has a handsome book for Dad’s next birthday, featuring all of James Bond’s 007 women.
Gas masks aren’t the only things flying off the shelves these days, Garcia said. There’s been a run on video surveillance equipment, with “everyone from the doctor to Joe from the factory” growing increasingly suspicious of those in their midst.
“People want to know more about the neighbor whose house is to the left, the neighbor whose house is to the right, with the vans pulling in and out at night,” Garcia said. “All of a sudden, people are concerned.”
I share their concern. I’m afraid that if I keep writing that certain politicians seem hell-bent on making a dangerous world even scarier, the U.S. attorney general’s office is going to start tapping my phone.
But the spy shop has a bug-detection unit for every budget, starting at $795 and going all the way up to $48,000 for the guy who’s really nervous.
“The future is now,” says a giant poster that faces the mannequin with the gas mask. “The store of the 21st Century is the Counter Spy Shop.”
Expensive, yes. But how do you put a price tag on knowing Bowser will still be fetching your slippers in the worst of times?
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Steve Lopez writes Sunday, Wednesday and Friday. Reach him at steve.lopez@latimes .com.
