A Rude and Painful Awakening for Chief Bratton Back in the Big Apple

New York City can be a hazardous place to get around, even for an ex-New Yorker.

Los Angeles Police Chief William J. Bratton returned to the city for the launch of wife Rikki Klieman’s book, “Fairy Tales Can Come True.”

When the former NYPD police commissioner awoke and got out of bed, he stepped on broken glass, cutting his foot. He had to phone a doctor friend, who patched him up. “He actually super-glued it,” Bratton says, and got the chief back on his feet.

Indulging in a bit of detective work, Bratton figured out how the accident probably occurred. While he was asleep, his wife left for a TV interview, and “the door apparently slammed and a perfume bottle fell to the floor.”

Case closed.

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Food for thought: When physicians take along interns to see patients, the visits are called “grand rounds.” As Dr. John Finazzo of Palm Desert noticed, the phrase was bungled in one medical conference schedule (see accompanying). Considering the subject -- and the location of the talk -- the mistake was understandable. “Insert obligatory doctor/butcher reference,” Finazzo quipped.

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Revving up the threats: Let’s see, we’ve shown you snapshots of no-parking signs threatening to “toe” violators, and to have violators “toad.” The latest installment in this genre was snapped by Donna Kelly of Newbury Park (see photo).

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Presidential putts: “First Off the Tee,” by Don Van Natta Jr., a history of U.S. presidents on the golf course, opens with a colorful account of a Palm Springs-area tournament in which George Bush the First and Gerald Ford each hit two spectators.

One of Bush’s victims required 10 stitches, prompting wife Barbara to quip, “As if we don’t have enough violence on TV.”

Comic Bob Hope could have written a book of jokes just about the erratic-hitting Ford, including: “Ford doesn’t really have to keep score -- he can just look back and count the wounded.”

Ronald Reagan’s golf outings were less disastrous, though his scores were high. Once, playing a round in Thousand Oaks, he told onlookers: “You might as well know my alibi in advance: I’m camera shy.”

Asked his handicap, Reagan responded: “Congress.”

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Getting personal: Tom Fox of Newport Beach chanced upon a shop that really appeals to the consciences of its visitors (see photo).

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Sure, the Lakers were eliminated...: And the Kings had another lousy season, and the Dodgers don’t seem to be going anywhere. But we still have the world champion Anaheim Angels and the world champion-to-be Anaheim Magic Ducks. I’m still proud to live and work in L.A., or as I now call it, Orange County Adjacent.

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miscelLAny: The discussion here of unusual street names prompted Bernie Sandalow to point out that, just east of Highland Park, there’s an intersection we’ve all been looking for: Fortune Way and Easy Street.

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Steve Harvey can be reached at (800) LA-TIMES, ext. 77083, and by mail at Metro, L.A. Times, 202 W. 1st St., L.A. 90012.