Don’t Can Rex Over Pot; Hype, Maybe ...

Even as an ardent disciple of that little-known offshoot of schadenfreude, in which one enjoys the misfortunes of overexcited former ballplayers who get jobs as TV commentators and then shamelessly root for the home team on the air, I’ve got to go to bat for Rex Hudler.

The Wonder Dog, the nickname of the kinetic 43-year-old pup who works the microphone for Angels’ telecasts, is hanging by his leash these days after getting arrested a couple of weeks ago for marijuana possession in the Kansas City airport.

Hudler was immediately suspended by the Angels, a heck of a way to thank a guy who gushes about the team and organization whenever the chance presents itself. The team said late last week that Hudler’s fate would be decided in the off-season.

The Hud’s listeners tend to fall into two categories: You either dig his cheerleading for the Angels (they always demonstrate “character”) or it drives you nuts, because you want some cold-eyed analysis.

If I never heard Hudler “analyze” another game, I’d be happy. Nor would I miss for a second Hudler saying to play-by-play man Steve Physioc, “Phys, I am pumped!”

I’d love to muzzle the Wonder Dog, but not over this. He shouldn’t lose his job over a snootful of pot. It’s not a big enough error to cost him his livelihood, no matter how much the Angels may want to foster a family-oriented image.

Hudler smokes pot in the still of the night, and the Angels sell beer and let fans get swacked before they drive home. Give me the Hud at home, any time.

He’s not a hypocrite. Sure, he comes across as a guy who’d tell little Johnny and Susie to eat their peas and carrots, but he doesn’t moralize. To find out that he toots a little weed is actually kind of funny.

My hunch is the Angels have already told Hudler he’ll be back, but want to make it sound like they’re grappling over this momentous decision. A Kansas City judge has sentenced Hudler to drug counseling classes (fellow attendees, beware) and public service. Hudler and his wife, who have a child with Down’s syndrome, have said they’ll concentrate their community service on that cause.

There’s no more pound of flesh to be had.

Hudler told The Times he’s been an occasional pot smoker over the years and uses it only to help him sleep. Anyone who’s caught his act on TV or public appearances probably wonders what grade of marijuana is required for someone with Hudler’s personality. Must be of Cheech and Chong quality.

I’m not one of those people who rails against the war on drugs, but finding out that someone like Hudler likes the stuff adds a welcomed element of reality. That is, he seems like a genuinely good guy. If he’s the kind of villain we’re chasing, maybe we should take another look at our efforts.

Yes, he’s a lawbreaker when he buys, and you could argue that his habit keeps a cartel in business somewhere. But, to coin a phrase, let’s bust the chops of real criminals of the world, not the Rex Hudlers.

Hudler has said that he won’t ever smoke again and that he was “ashamed for doing it.” Methinks the Wonder Dog doth protest too much. I’m reminded that St. Louis Cardinal pitcher Darryl Kile, who died in 2002 from artery blockage and was universally hailed by all who knew him, had traces of marijuana in his system when he died.

In other words, pot-smoking and personal character don’t appear to have a link.

Call me an old softie, but had I sentenced Hudler, I’d have given him the five-cent lecture about drug use and 30 days for his work behind the microphone.

That way, we all come out ahead.

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Dana Parsons’ column appears Wednesdays, Fridays and Sundays. He can be reached at (714) 966-7821, at dana.parsons@latimes.com or at The Times’ Orange County edition, 1375 Sunflower Ave., Costa Mesa, CA 92626.