Showbiz parenting on parade

What did ambitious parents of little means dream of in the days before boy bands, little girl pageants, ‘tween series and toothpaste commercials? Orchestrating advantageous marriages for their daughters, perhaps, or sending their sons off to war and hoping for the best.

Now that the showbiz dream has taken root and flourished in malls, karaoke bars and garage home-offices across America, they may marshal their delusions and pour their considerable energies into talent shows, casting calls and auditions. Bravo’s “Showbiz Moms & Dads,” a six-episode series, follows five families as they chase the elusive dream with varying degrees of success.

By far the most fascinating of the four is Duncan Nutter, a former Vermont resident who relocated his wife and seven children from their rural home to a tiny two-bedroom apartment in Queens so that they might pursue acting en masse. While Nutter describes himself as “a real Capt. Von Trapp,” his would-be producing partner says that, upon first meeting him, he was convinced that he was a “single, flirty guy who would never get married.” Duncan doesn’t share his flamboyant love of theater with his decidedly less outgoing wife, the shy, scrubbed Cynthia, who tags along reluctantly.

“Nobody in the family really wants to go to auditions,” says Duncan Jr. “It’s just easier to go and get it over with.” A younger son, Isaiah, concurs, dutifully going through the motions to maintain, for his father’s benefit, the illusion that they are not being pushed too hard.

A beauty pageant mom who resents being called a “Ramsey” despite her penchant for hot-rollering and spray-tanning her 4-year-old daughter into a pre-literate Vanna White, Debbie Tye first entered Emily into a mall pageant when she was 4 months old. “We’ve been hooked ever since,” Debbie says. Together, they travel from city to city throughout Florida on weekends to participate in baby shows that make the Westminster look like a hippie dog run.

The Klingensmiths, a rather poignant mother-son team, hope to make son Shane into a Backstreet Boy-style teen idol. A cute, poised, pre-adolescent who suffered a serious car accident as a child, Shane has the dreamy, faraway quality of a kid who spent too much time in a full-body cast. When Shane fails to make it into the top 10 (out of 20) in a local “Florida Idol” competition, Debbie wastes no time trying to find Shane a modeling and acting agent.

By now, most of those watching should have child services on speed dial. The Barron family somewhat tips the sympathy balance -- though not quite -- in the direction of hapless mom Tiffany. Her and her younger daughter Samantha’s lives are on hold so her teen daughter Jordan can pursue her career ambitions. Jordan comes across as a desperately unhappy kid, but who can blame her? After auditioning for some new agents, they tell her they are not interested because her “look” (code for looks) is not up to snuff. They’re more specific behind her back: “Hello? You cannot be on camera with a big pimple, OK?”

Thankfully, the Moseley-Stephenses, another mother-daughter combo, balance things out a little. Mom Kimberly is a Hollywood agent whose 8-year-old daughter, Jordan, has acted in two feature films and appeared on TV. The seemingly well-adjusted Jordan may just turn out to be the scariest. It’s modest, encouraging successes like hers that keep kids like Emily in pageants and the Nutters on food stamps.

“Showbiz Moms & Dads” plays like a cautionary tale but could be interpreted otherwise. The Bravo website, after all, asks parents if they think their kids have what it takes to make it in the entertainment industry. Maybe, if they’re lucky, they’ll wind up on a show like this one.

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‘Showbiz Moms

& Dads’

Where: Bravo

When: Premieres tonight, 9-10, repeating at 11 p.m.

Executive producers, Fenton Bailey, Randy Barbato and David Perler.