Maybe It Will Cut Red Tape

Now that we’ve opened the southern windows to promote air circulation, rearranged the red and yellow flowers and turned the computer keyboard to avoid the downward pressures of nearby ceiling beams, we can note the interesting proposal of Assemblyman Leland Yee, a San Francisco Democrat. He’s introduced a bill urging California’s troubled state government to incorporate feng shui into the design, building and furnishing of state office buildings statewide.

Feng shui, which should really be spelled fung shway to reflect its pronunciation, is the ancient arcane Chinese study of birth dates, compass direction and complex mathematical formulas to arrange physical structures to promote positive energy, prosperity and environmental harmony. It’s also good for encouraging childbearing in southwest rooms, although you don’t want to build bathrooms over the front door.

This architectural acupuncture is widely followed in parts of Asia and among some families buying or developers selling homes in California. When it works, it’s great. When it doesn’t, probably something else was wrong. And anyway, Americans know such customs and beliefs are plain quaint, except for the black cat and 13th floor ones. And the lucky shirt. Oh, and the ladder one.

Customs can be funny things that gain unquestioned stature merely through familiarity. For instance, except for large soda bottles, Americans resist measurements by the “foreign” system of metrics, based on tens and a goofy decimal point, and not on our own common-sensical U.S. system of 12s involving an inch (the length of three barleycorns), a mile (the distance a Roman legion marched in 1,000 double-steps) and a yard (the span from Henry I’s nose to his thumb). And no jokes about the king’s nose if you want to keep yours.

California already has several hundred feng shui consultants who can, for up to a few thousand dollars an hour, provide advice on avoiding sharp edges and planting trees harmoniously for maximum, if invisible, energy. Predictably, such consults can consume several hours to find that chi.

Yee’s bill appears well intentioned and reflects the state’s delightful cultural diversity. No doubt the state’s government, economy, politics and sports teams could use enhanced positive energies from any direction, but the recall, bonds and lingering multibillion-dollar deficit hang overhead like an ugly beam. Capital operatives are anyway better known for following the ancient American paths of prokrasti nashun and parti zan bic kerring. Just the thought of Sacramento politicians fighting bitterly over harmony tempts us to support the measure.