Couples can keep regimens on track

When it comes to couples, exercise is often a blessing. Those who commit to physical activity as a twosome often find support for their sports and the kind of quality time that can enrich a relationship or marriage. But it can also be a curse. When one member of a twosome gets physically active and the other doesn’t, it can be seen as a threat.

“It mostly would be helpful for a couple,” says the Rev. Richard Horn, executive director of the Pastoral Counseling Center of West Hartford, Conn. “It would be something they would share. And any kind of exercise diminishes depression a bit. They would feel pretty good together.”

But, he says, if half of the couple deserts the other half for long stretches or skips out on his or her partner responsibilities, it could be a problem.

There is not much research on couples and exercise, says Andrea L. Dunn, director of behavioral science at the Cooper Institute in Denver, a branch of the Dallas-based institution that studies and promotes physical activity and health. But studies on social support make it clear that it helps keep the exerciser on track.

And data from health clubs show that a lack of support from one person can undermine the partner’s resolve, says Bob Stauble, co-founder and chief development officer of Glastonbury, Conn.-based Healthtrax, which operates medical-fitness centers and corporate wellness centers in 15 states. Stauble says that lack of approval from a spouse or significant other is one of the main reasons health clubs lose members.

Sometimes the support system is in place from the start of a relationship. Vance and Emma Dean of Southington, Conn., are both triathletes who met at a swimming pool. Now with two daughters, ages 7 and 9, the couple takes turns covering the home front while the other runs, bikes or swims.

Often a husband is lured into fitness by his wife, say Graeme and Kate Street of Essex, Conn. The Streets are married and they’re also business partners in First Street Fitness, a personal training operation, and FSF Media, which produces workout DVDs and CDs. Among their clients are many older married couples.

Couples needn’t work out at the same level -- or even participate in the same activities -- to support each other in staying physically active, says Bess H. Marcus, a professor of psychiatry and human behavior at Brown University Medical School.

One partner might offer to “deal with everybody on Sunday morning so you can go out and play basketball,” she says. It’s a matter of “respect for your partner.”