Studios up to their old tricks

The buzz began early.

The two men in suits, exhibitors at theater owners’ annual ShoWest Convention in Las Vegas, boarded the elevator.

“You know, they are bringing out 25 stars,” one said.

“Really?” asked his friend.

“Yes.”

“Is that because they had such a crappy year last year?” he asked, as his friend laughed in agreement.

Paramount Pictures executives surely would not confess openly to having had a “crappy” 2003. The studio suffered through its worst year in memory, going through a string of flops, including the $80-million “Timeline” price tag and “Beyond Borders” (which grossed only $4.4 million, worse even than Sony’s “Gigli”).

Paramount’s box-office market share this year trails all the major studios, even perennial also-ran MGM.

So studio executives felt they needed to prove, at least symbolically, that they would come back strong in 2004. Yet their way of doing it seemed curiously dated.

In the mid-1990s glory years of ShoWest, studios -- Warner Bros. in particular -- thought nothing of dropping millions to fly in planeloads of celebrities to hawk their lineups at gala lunches and dinners. But times changed, and belts were tightened. Instead of sponsoring sit-down-meal presentations for 3,500 people, some studios started merely screening movies as a way of planting their flags at ShoWest.

Considering these dinners can cost anywhere from $2 million to $5 million, most studios had opted out of them by the late 1990s. It’s unclear what the studios received as a return on their investment.

Harking back to those earlier days, Paramount on Wednesday evening hosted its first dinner here in eight years. It wasn’t the only studio turning up the star power, although Sony, Fox, Lions Gate and Miramax hosted somewhat lower-wattage events.

Paramount’s ball featured a look-but-don’t-touch stage display of movie stars, a scripted Q&A; session and, of course, a 40-minute product preview reel of their releases.

Wednesday night, Paramount paraded an impressive array of stars (said to be invited personally by Paramount Motion Picture Group Chairwoman Sherry Lansing) for the viewing pleasure of exhibitors.

And so the night began with a walk toward the Paris hotel ballroom, where guests entered through a 20-foot-tall replica of the iconic Paramount gate, surrounded by fake palm trees.

Within a few feet came the first major star sighting -- SpongeBob SquarePants. Thirty-three-year-old Marcie Collins stood inside the sweltering costume of a sponge/Swiss-cheese look-alike jumping on a mini stage greeting the crowd.

Collins’ mother, Virginia Gray, who happened to be in town from Cape Cod, stood at her side making sure she didn’t fall off the stage since Collins’ costume prevented her from seeing sideways.

“This makes me a little nervous,” Gray confessed as she grabbed her daughter’s hand.

“Whatever they are payin’ that guy or girl -- it ain’t enough,” called out one guest as he passed SpongeBob.

The crowd made its way into the massive ballroom decorated with faux Louis XIV crystal chandeliers, its walls lined with 10-foot-tall promotional movie posters. In the background, songs were playing from some of Paramount’s bygone hits -- Glenn Frey’s “The Heat Is On” from “Beverly Hills Cop” and Kenny Loggins’ “Footloose” -- while guests munched on Belgian endive-and-tomato salad.

Exhibitors rifled through their massive “goody bags” filled to the rim with mementos including a “SpongeBob SquarePants” backpack, “Stepford Wives” See’s candies encased in a glass box and a “Weather Man” umbrella.

Then came the moment they were all waiting for: The appearance of the stars.

One at a time they were introduced as they jumped out of a makeshift (Para)mountainous terrain decorating the stage and onto risers. Gwyneth Paltrow (front row), Nicole Kidman (front row), Jude Law (front row), Denzel Washington (front row) Jim Carrey (front row), Burt Reynolds (back row), Bette Midler (back row), Seth Green (back row). And so on.

The celebrities then sat on the dais facing the massive auditorium and dinner was served.

But no one wanted to eat.

The guests rushed the stage.

Derya Uras, a theater manager from Istanbul, Turkey, had his camera in the air, hoping to shoot one of the stars.

“This is great,” he said as he tried to focus the camera above the thickening crowd.

Brooks Reynolds, an insurance agent from Des Moines, pushed his way through. He was taking pictures for his girlfriend, who could not afford to fly to Las Vegas with him.

“She loves Gwyneth Paltrow,” he beamed, taking a digital snapshot of the very pregnant Paltrow. He would e-mail her the pictures as soon as he got back to his seat.

Meantime, a waiter carrying a tray of 20 hot plates of steak and potatoes tried to make his way through the crowd. But everyone was too busy to hear his pleas: “Excuse me! This is heavy and hot!” he cried, to no avail.

Jessi Berrin, a cookie saleswoman with the concessions trade show, stood on the sidelines, seemingly in a trance. “I’m too shaky, I can’t take pictures,” she gushed, her large blue eyes twinkling. “The fact that Nicole Kidman is in front of my face is incredible.” Celebrities, she explained, “are my life.”

But with the stars’ dinners getting cold, (although most were not eating), security guards swept in to clear the space.

“They are trying to have dinner,” explained one exasperated guard. “You know, taking pictures while you’re eating? Not good.”

But he couldn’t stop Jennifer Koran of Rogers Cinema in Marshfield, Wis. “It’s kind of strange ... they are sort of on display,” she said as she glanced at the stars. “I feel sort of bad taking a picture of Glenn Close spooning a bunch of food in her mouth,” she confessed. “[But] this is what we all want to see. We want to see the stars.”

She had already talked to Jane Krakowsky (“What’s It All About, Alfie?”) and was now dying to talk to her favorite actor, Samuel L. Jackson (“Coach Carter”).

“But I’m little Jenny Koran from Marshfield, Wisconsin. What would I say to him?” she asked.

As the crowd returned to their seats, Paramount Chief Operating Officer Rob Friedman informed them they would be privy to an “interaction” with the stars. So, selected exhibitors with prepared questions stood and waited their turn.

“Was ‘Sky Captain and the World of Tomorrow’ a departure for you, Gwyneth?”

“Well, I don’t know,” she responded into a microphone. “I guess I never thought I’d be saying, ‘Look out, there’s a robot!’ to Jude [Law]. I’m used to wearing corsets.”

“What did you do to make [‘Manchurian Candidate’] more relevant?” asked another exhibitor.

“We cast Denzel Washington,” offered Wayne Lewellyn, Paramount’s head of distribution, who kept reminding the exhibitors with questions to “stick to the script.”

To Sir Michael Caine: “I know you were paid the lord’s fee ... but what drew you in to do “The Weather Man?”

“I always wanted to spend a winter in Chicago,” he quipped.

But perhaps Jim Carrey summarized the eventful evening best when he was asked why he was there.

He jumped up on the dais and screamed into the microphone: “Because we all need love ... incredible amounts of love and attention.”