Paternal Instincts
When a group of African American fathers first started meeting at a Valley restaurant to watch Monday Night Football, it was, in the words of one of the dads, “kind of a rebellious thing.” Their wives were members of the Mocha Moms, a multi-ethnic national support group. As the moms organized family functions, “they’d drag the husbands out,” recalls new father Reggie Rock Bythewood. “A lot of us dads didn’t really know each other that well, so we said, ‘Let’s get together and watch football and chill.’ ”
The fathers comprised a wide range of interests and professions. Their opinions on sports, politics and race often clashed. The only thing they seemed to have in common was that most were new fathers, passionate about the idea of parenting. They began to hold picnics for their children on weekends, “so that the wives could have some private time to themselves,” recalls Royale Watkins. Perhaps because it challenged the stereotype of the absentee black father, the sight of African American dads and their kids playing together in the park aroused curiosity. “People were like, ‘Are you guys with a group?’ And we’d say, ‘No we’re just dads out here with our children,’ ” Watkins says.
In December, the fathers rented a hall and sold tickets to a Kwanzaa event that attracted 100 people. “The families dressed in African garb,” says Bythewood, a Hollywood writer-director. “We served food and had the children recite the seven principles of Kwanzaa. The event went over so well, we said, ‘Wow, we’re onto something here.’ ” After their numbers increased from six to 25, they formally incorporated as the B-Dads, a nonprofit organization whose goals are to “be the best fathers we can be” and to teach children “that it is important to not only have fun, but to give something back and do something for people other than yourself,” explains group president Melvin Stewart, a real estate agent. “The ‘B’ means, ‘just be.’ ”
Last Father’s Day weekend, the B-Dads hosted “Feed the Families.” With their children, the dads fed 300 homeless and low-income residents in South L.A. One Saturday earlier this month, the group staged “Little Legs With Big Hearts,” the B-Dads’ “first annual” quarter-mile “run” around the track at UCLA’s Drake Stadium. The race was open to all children (and their parents) between the ages of 1 and 6, with proceeds to benefit the Sickle Cell Disease Foundation of California.
B-Dad Eric Morgan Stuart confides: “My son has sickle cell disease. He is 3. When I learned that ‘Little Legs With Big Hearts’ was to be an event to raise money for sickle cell disease, I can’t even explain what it did to me. It broke me up.” Meanwhile, at the B-Dads’ last Monday Night Football gathering, “We didn’t even watch the game,” Bythewood says. “We spent the whole time talking about ‘Little Legs With Big Hearts.’ The game, in many ways, has taken a back seat to our goals.”