Lawyer Gives Profession a Ravenous Reputation

Lawyers -- you have to keep your eyes on them every second! Commentator James Carville was about to speak at a Las Vegas convention of the Consumer Attorneys of Los Angeles, and free box lunches were being handed out to the numerous attendees. Naturally, someone had to try to take advantage of the situation. One attorney was overheard being told: “Please, sir, only take one lunch.”

Rebuttal: Of course, the ravenous guy was a consumer attorney.

Buttergate conspiracy (cont.): I recently theorized that the Irvine store clerk who put Kerrygold butter next to Beurre President must be a Democrat (see photo). But Lars Helstrom of Westlake Village and several other readers saw a Republican operative at work, one who was linking Kerry to France, a sometimes argumentative ally.

Word imperfect: My dictionary defines “infamous” as “having a very bad reputation; notorious; in disgrace or dishonor.” I’ve never heard anything close to that description used for Laguna Beach’s illustrious Festival of the Arts. John Kruissink of Whittier wonders, as I do, whether the copywriter for a Laguna hotel really meant to use that adjective (see accompanying).

You’re offsides! The coming of fall, of course, means that stadiums around the nation will be filled with football players and coaches. It’s a good thing the coaches have somewhere to go. Jack Mahon of Upland found an area of Scotland where they’re not wanted (see photo).

Upon further review: Actually, the sign was directed at bus drivers in the parking lot of a soccer stadium.

Sometimes common sense does prevail: My items about folks being carded when attempting to buy a drink reminded Bill Howes of Seal Beach of “an incident I had at Wrigley Field during a Cubs game. I ordered a beer and the guy asked to see my I.D. I took out my I.D., carefully looked at it, and told him, ‘I’m old enough.’ ” And, the clerk took Howes’ word for it, pouring him a beer without so much as a glance at the card.

Maybe the silver gray hair of the 55-year-old Howes had something to do with it.

Unusual Protests Dept.: The police log of the Dana Point News reported: “Manager of a pizza restaurant states that he kicked three customers out of the restaurant at 10 p.m. when it closed and now they are running naked around the outside of the establishment.”

miscelLAny: Jack Walsman of Manhattan Beach pointed out that one bookstore’s sales pitch sounded as though it had been used before (see accompanying). Then, again, it is a used book store. Nothing infamous here.

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Steve Harvey can be reached at (800)LATIMES, Ext. 77083, by fax at (213) 237-4712, by mail at Metro, L.A. Times, 202 W. 1st St., L.A. 90012, and by e-mail at steve.harvey@latimes.com.