So Far, Zo Good

“What are you doing here?” Shaquille O’Neal asked me.

Before I could answer, he provided his own.

“Oh, that’s right. Your team didn’t make it to the playoffs.”

The thing about the Lakers is, even when they’re out of the playoffs, they’re still the No. 1 topic of discussion in the playoffs, whether it’s their conspicuous absence or the question I hear everywhere I go on my postseason tour, posed most recently by O’Neal: “What’s Phil going to do?”

I told him with every day that passes, the chances that Phil Jackson comes back to the Lakers increase. The Knicks are too tied down in bad contracts, Cleveland’s too located in Cleveland. And the Lakers have the Jeanie Buss wild card.

“I hope it works out for him,” O’Neal said.

Things are actually working out so far for the NBA without the Lakers, despite David Stern’s worst fears. A TNT spokesman said the ratings for the first round are the same as last season (1.9).

And things are working out just fine for O’Neal. The Miami Heat is poised to sweep the New Jersey Nets after a 108-105 double-overtime victory in Game 3 of their first-round series Thursday night at the Meadowlands.

O’Neal is dragging around a bruised thigh and his game is more terrestrial than ever. He didn’t dominate in the low post, he didn’t shut down the middle defensively. He grabbed only six rebounds to go with his 25 points in 47 minutes.

“[Game 1] I was a baby lawn mower engine,” O’Neal said. “Now I’m one of those riding lawn mower engines. Maybe Sunday [for Game 4] I’ll be a Honda engine, a truck engine. Very soon I’ll be a diesel engine. But right now I’m a John Deere lawn mower engine.”

Guess it’s better than a Hefty Sak. But while Laker fans still seethe at the sight of the slimmer Shaq in a Heat uniform, it’s wasted anger. Even at his heaviest, in the 2002-03 season, he averaged 27.5 points and 11.1 rebounds and shot a career-best 62% from the free-throw line. With the Heat this season O’Neal averaged 22.9 points, 10.4 rebounds and shot a career-worst 46% from the line. Yes, the Lakers had more of Shaq; they also got more from Shaq.

With the Heat, O’Neal might not even be the most valuable player. As Eddie Jones said Thursday night, “Dwyane Wade makes everything happen for this ballclub.”

What O’Neal gives the Heat isn’t about the stats as much as the attitude. With O’Neal comes victories, and with victories comes swagger. Guys such as Udonis Haslem and Damon Jones believe they’re better than they are. Keyon Dooling hit more shots in the second quarter Thursday night than he did during his entire four-year stay with the Clippers.

“[O’Neal] has a lot of experience in winning,” Damon Jones said. “For everybody on this roster, our No. 1 goal is to win games. It’s refreshing to see his face, especially when he’s healthy. All the attention that he draws, his personality and the way he carries himself ... just a guy that loves life.

“The situation he went through last year in L.A. is the reason, we think, why they didn’t win the NBA championship. Because when everyone’s not on the same page and you have feuding, regardless if it’s off the floor or on the basketball floor, it’s going to seep in, some way, somehow. It’s all love on this team.”

Most surprising is the bond between O’Neal and Alonzo Mourning, whom O’Neal used to deride without mercy. In 1996, when O’Neal first heard Mourning was seeking a contract worth more than $100 million, he broke into a theatrical laugh, then announced his pricing guidelines.

“If you pay $30,000 for a Beemer, you’ve got to pay $50,000 for a Benz,” O’Neal said.

Which one was O’Neal?

“I’m a Benz, bro,” he said.

O’Neal cut the cattiness when Mourning underwent a kidney transplant in 2003. And when Mourning became available after moping his way out of New Jersey, then refusing to show up after a trade to Toronto, Heat President Pat Riley called O’Neal to seek his opinion. O’Neal told him to go for Zo.

“What changed?” O’Neal said. “I’m older, man. If I was 25, I’d be like, ‘Nah, let him stay in Toronto.’ But I’m [33], he’s [35], I’m working on four [championships], he’s working on one, so let’s do it together. There’s a time in your life when you’ve got to let all that go. And the time for me has been since four years ago. Put all the ice, all the wheels, put all that ... away. Just focus on what’s important. For me, five or six [championships] is important. If that’s what I’ve got to do to stack my army to get five or six, then that’s what I’m going to do.”

Mourning said, “Now we have the utmost respect for each other. Because we realize how important it is to win. He understands where my head is. I understand where his head is. He has a point to prove: that he can win somewhere else.”

The locker room reminded me of the way the Lakers were in 2000, when the only agenda was winning a championship. I don’t think the Heat’s best would be enough to get the team past an on-point Piston or Spur team. But the attitude and approach give them a chance.

“You know what’s crazy?” O’Neal said. “We haven’t had a negative article all year. It’s fun to just open up the paper and just read, rather than ‘He said this, he said that. ...’ Know what I’m saying? It’s nice.”

Now it would just be nice if he worked on some new material.

“Hey, what are you doing here?” O’Neal said on his way out of the postgame locker room. “Oh, I know. ... “

*

NBA PLAYOFFS

EASTERN CONFERENCE

Miami 108, New Jersey 105

Miami leads series, 3-0

* O’Neal scores 25 points and the Heat overcomes 36 points by Carter to win in two overtimes at East Rutherford, N.J.

Indiana 99, Boston 76

Indiana leads series, 2-1

* Miller scores 33 points, 15 in the fourth quarter, including a three-pointer during Pacers’ decisive 17-3 run at Indianapolis.

*

WESTERN CONFERENCE

Dallas 106, Houston 102

Houston leads series, 2-1

* Nowitzki scores 28 points at Houston and the Mavericks go on a 20-0 fourth-quarter run to get back in the series.