They Might Eat Up This Defense Like a Luau

The Honolulu Star-Bulletin is running a series on the University of Hawaii’s football opponents and of USC in its season opener, receiver Jason Ferguson said, “It’s like a dream to play against teams like that.”

The top-ranked Trojans are probably thinking the same thing about opening against the unranked Warriors, who last season were second-to-last nationally in total defense, and who enter this season with no returning starters at the skill positions.

Regardless, Hawaii is looking forward to the game in Honolulu on Sept. 3.

“If you don’t get motivated for that, you shouldn’t be playing football,” cornerback Kenny Patton said.

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Trivia time: Four years ago today, pitcher Jason Jennings made his major league debut with the Colorado Rockies and pitched a complete game in a 10-0 victory over the New York Mets. What else was significant about his performance?

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Boiling mad: Responding to news that the Mascot Hall of Fame had inducted its first class -- the San Diego Chicken, the Phillie Phanatic and the Phoenix Suns’ Gorilla -- Scott Ostler of the San Francisco Chronicle wrote:

“Thunder, the Warriors’ mascot, would have been a shoo-in but for the steroid rumors.... And a despondent [San Francisco Giant mascot] Crazy Crab tried to commit suicide by strolling through Fisherman’s Wharf with a bottle of Tabasco sauce in his claw.”

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Keep on trucking: Defensive lineman Matt Hines of the University of Nevada has a new nickname, as co-defensive coordinator Barry Sacks explained in the Reno-Gazette-Journal: “He’s short, he’s wide and he’s strong ... he’s a dump truck!”

Hines, who is 6 feet 1, 285 pounds and can bench press 500-plus pounds, is being asked to carry a bigger load this season as the Wolfpack is going with a three-man front.

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It’s his fault: Greg Cote of the Miami Herald, commenting on the Dolphins’ woeful play during the exhibition season:

“You wouldn’t know it by the 0-3 exhibition record, but the Dolphins have a league-high 23 assistant coaches. It breaks down to six offense, six defense, three special teams, and eight designated scapegoats.”

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For what it’s worth: Whether the Terrell Owens situation affects how Philadelphia performs this season remains to be seen, but it has already affected oddsmaker thinking. The Eagles, co-favorites a month ago with the New England Patriots at 6-1 to win the Super Bowl, have been downgraded to 9-1 behind the Patriots (now 8-1) and Indianapolis, 6-1, according to Sportsbook.com.

The San Francisco 49ers have the worst odds at 225-1.

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Trivia answer: The right-hander had three hits, one of them a home run, which made him the first pitcher in modern history to pitch a shutout and hit a homer in his first game.

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And finally: John Gagliardi, the 78-year-old coach of the St. John’s football team in Collegeville, Minn., was asked by the St. Paul Pioneer Press what he would like engraved on his tombstone.

His response: “I’d rather be coaching.”