He’ll Go for the Downs, but Shoot for the Moon

Some people just don’t do their homework, and then, of course, they come off looking like big losers.

Take Kobe Bryant, for example.

The other night he chose to look downright silly, wearing an Eagles’ Donovan McNabb jersey while sitting on the Lakers’ bench. I would imagine some Laker fans were happy to see him wearing No. 5, a green jersey and not shooting the ball, but that’s a whole other story.

Bryant said he couldn’t wait to watch the Super Bowl and cheer for Philadelphia, making it pretty obvious he doesn’t know anything about football because almost everyone else agrees the Patriots are going to win today, 41-17.

“Oh, yeah,” Bryant said, and I guess you can take the kid out of Philadelphia, but start talking sports with someone who has spent time there, and sooner or later they’re going to start sounding like Rocky after falling down the steps of the Philadelphia Museum of Art.

I mention this now because it’s the first Saturday in February, and on the first Saturday in May they are going to run the Kentucky Derby and I have a Bryant situation on my hands. I’ve done my homework, I know who is going to win the big race, and yet for the next three months I’m going to be in contact with a big loser who thinks he knows better.

Like Bryant, of course, he wears a chain around his neck to look pretty, but unlike Bryant’s jewelry, his turns colors and stains his neck. Sometimes it’s hard to tell whether the Grocery Store Bagger is wearing his necklace or just hasn’t washed his neck this month.

The Bagger likes to bet on the horses, which explains why the wife and I expect them to move back in with us at some point.

It goes deeper than that, though. The Bagger considers himself a horse racing expert and has already announced that Galloping Grocer will win this year’s Derby. You can see the amount of homework he puts in to make his selections.

I sat down with Ron Ellis on Saturday at Santa Anita. He’s the trainer of our local Derby hopeful, Declan’s Moon, undefeated in four starts and the co-favorite in most betting circles to win the Derby.

More important, Ellis is the father of two daughters, ages 8 and 13, and “I’d hate to think that there’s going to be a Grocery Store Bagger in the future for one of my kids,” which is why he was so willing to help when I asked about Galloping Grocer.

“If I can get Declan’s Moon to the Derby healthy, I don’t think there’s another horse that can beat him,” Ellis said, which would certify the Bagger a loser once again.

I checked with trainer Bob Baffert, who is supposed to win the Derby every year. “Declan’s Moon is definitely the horse to beat,” he said.

You know, it’s tough to find much interesting with horse racing these days, but if Declan’s Moon is the horse to beat in the Derby, fans at Santa Anita will get to see him run twice, beginning March 5. I’d invite the Bagger, but Santa Anita doesn’t allow anyone in who isn’t wearing a shirt.

Ellis said everyone may be watching a Triple Crown winner.

Mace Siegel, a Beverly Hills mall owner, and his daughter Samantha purchased Declan’s Moon for $125,000. Fusaichi Samurai, bought for $4.5 million, prompted jockey Victor Espinoza to say, “He could be the best horse ever,” after riding him to a victory in his only race. But he was pulled out of the Derby hunt last week because of a pulled muscle.

“I didn’t take Victor’s comments personally, but it was a little slap in the face,” Ellis said, because Espinoza was also Declan’s jockey at the time. “I think it had more to do with the hype that comes with a $4.5-million horse, so I don’t believe he meant it.”

Ellis is sticking with Espinoza, and now that Samurai is out, I guess Declan’s Moon could be the best horse ever.

First, he’ll have to beat Rockport Harbor and Galloping Grocer. Rockport Harbor, by the way, is trained by John Servis, the guy who got Smarty Jones ready for last year’s Kentucky Derby. The only thing Galloping Grocer has going for it is the Bagger’s hunch play.

“Everybody has something to say about the Derby; I took Atswhatimtalknbout to Louisville in 2003 and had no chance to win because no horse with 18 letters in its name has ever won,” said Ellis, whose horse finished fourth. “I’ve studied every Derby winner, and listen, I’m not worried about winning the Derby; they key is just getting there healthy.”

Declan’s Moon is a gelding, but Ellis has connections to Declan’s dad, Malibu Moon, who was earning $10,000 a visit in stud fees before Moon’s son became a star. And this is where the money is in horse racing. Now Malibu Moon gets $30,000 every time he meets a mare, and that could increase to $100,000 if Declan’s Moon wins the Derby.

This year Moon is scheduled to spend time with 140 mares. I’m sure there’s a joke there somewhere involving the Bagger, but not if I want the daughter to talk to me again. That reminds me, she likes betting the horses too, and will be putting her money down on whatever horse Tyler Baze rides in the Derby.

Better get that spare room ready.

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L.A.’S CLASSIEST athlete, jockey Alex Solis, returned to work at Santa Anita, and lost in a photo ... the bum.

Solis, injured in a Del Mar spill last summer, came from last to hit the wire on Imperialism almost the same time as Strub Stakes favorite Rock Hard Ten. It had the makings of a real shocker.

But the photo favored Rock Hard Ten, and Solis said, “Just got a little tired there. Me, not the horse.” At least I’ve got the losing ticket to prove it was almost one of the great comebacks in sports. I’m so lucky.

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TODAY’S LAST word comes in e-mail from Norm Lubke:

“Maybe you can pass this on. I drove through Phoenix/Tempe and a sign along the freeway read: ‘Tempe Diablo Stadium, home of the Anaheim Angels.’ ”

Never heard of them.