Make It Stop: We’re Ready for the Rest of the Year

Can you remember when Southern California was in the midst of a drought -- about a week ago? I was reminded of the complaint about this area by the transplanted New Yorker in the Neil Simon movie “I Ought to Be in Pictures”: “Thirty inches of rain in two hours. The rest of the year is all sun.”

Talk about a strange tornado alert: Caroline Arthur spotted it in a restaurant ad, where it is joined by a notice about a demure plate of ribs (see accompanying).

More phenomena: At an Army surplus store, Vanessa Henderson of L.A. saw an ad for a type of key that she isn’t sure would work very well on an ordinary lock. And at a beauty supply house, she spotted a real mixed menu of services (see photos).

Now this is a reality show: It’s always entertaining to ride the Metro Rail because, in my experience at least, officers almost never visit the cars and an anything-goes mentality reigns.

My trip from downtown L.A. to Long Beach the other day began with a young passenger launching into a loud oration in Spanish. Someone said he was begging for money.

An older transient, accompanied by a wheelchair filled with belongings, began yelling, “Speak English!” and cursed out the young man, who paid no attention.

A woman sitting nearby, however, cursed the older transient and threatened to beat him up. Eventually, the young man took his seat. The transient, who now began to speak nonstop, apparently had a dry throat because he opened a can of beer. And lighted a cigarette. “Secret Service,” he told the passengers between sips and drags.

The transient had violated Metro Rail’s (1) no drinking, (2) no smoking, (3) no littering and (4) no-loud-activity rules and, I would guess, (5) an “entry without valid fare” rule, too.

At $250 a pop, he could have been fined $1,250, possibly a record for a Blue Line passenger, if anyone had been monitoring.

But he was still drinking and smoking when I disembarked.

Speaking of multi-tasking: Commenting on a Westways story about the wonders of Culver City, Miaesha Campbell of Venice wrote the publication to say it had neglected to mention “EZ New Web Laundromat & Cafe on Washington Boulevard, the city’s only Internet cafe/Laundromat combo.”

There, she pointed out, “customers can simultaneously sip, soak and surf.”

miscelLAny: Of that Orange County baseball team’s name change, columnist Jerry Greene of the Orlando Sentinel wrote: “The Los Angeles Angels of Anaheim? Hasn’t anyone noticed that the initials are L.A.A.A.? It sounds like the Hollywood chapter of Alcoholics Anonymous.”

Steve Harvey can be reached at (800) LATimes, Ext. 77083, by fax at (213) 237-4712, by mail at Metro, L.A. Times, 202 W. 1st St., L.A. 90012, and by e-mail at steve.harvey@latimes.com.