Gaining a foothold
IT used to be that there were all sorts of rules and regulations that revolved around Labor Day weekend. It was the last hurrah of summer -- and as if that weren’t depressing enough, behavior alterations were supposed to magically occur with no transitional ease. We showered off the warm sand, stored the sabot sailboat, packed up the car, hit the freeway, turned on the air conditioning and landed inland on a melting asphalt driveway -- just in time for school.
According to teachers, who obviously hadn’t abandoned pens and papers for even an instant since the day we’d been sprung in June, all that fun was over. (Don’t even think about Boogie Boards and waves.)
But the worst part was the shoes. Barefooted for three months save for the visit to church or the occasional casual dinner out when we could wear white sandals that made our legs look even tanner, we suddenly were faced with bucks or saddle shoes purchased in a flurry of before-school shopping. No more open toes and above all, no more white.
No white shoes after Labor Day. That has been a quintessential fashion law. I thought it was only my grandmother who preached it, but over time I came to believe it was almost a universal rule of thumb, regardless of the fact that we live in Southern California and the title of “warmest month” frequently belongs to September and October.
Indeed, as I painfully learned during my 15th summer when my mother forced me to attend John Robert Powers “charm school,” white shoes against tanned hosiery was the most hideous faux pas this side of Paris. I had broken that rule many times, as my girlfriends and I simply loved the look of white tennis shoes against stockings, once again providing an instant tanning effect. But as the glamorous after-picture models at John Robert Powers informed us, “If you wear white shoes, people will only look at your feet.”
Amazingly enough, even in our “enlightened century” -- with hip-hop stars Usher and Kanye West tripping the light fantastic in white at the Grammys and fashion designer Kate Spade admitting that although wearing white on your feet in winter “can be tricky, I do love the idea of a white rubber boot for a slushy winter day” -- there are still those who refuse to consider it, who would rather die than deviate from that dictum.
Sure, the Detroit News announced just last week that the rule was “old-fashioned.” But search the Internet for “white shoes after Labor Day,” and you’ll find a vigorous defense of the tradition on various blogs. One such posting read:
“Step One: First check the calendar. Is the date after Labor Day but before Memorial Day? If you answered ‘yes,’ go to Step 2.
“Step Two: Put on the white shoes.
“Step Three: Stand in front of a full-length mirror. Look at your feet. Now, let your eye travel upward. Are you wearing a wedding dress? If you answered ‘No,’ then take off the damn shoes and stash them in the back of the closet until June.”
Suze Yalof Schwartz, Glamour magazine’s executive fashion editor at large, concurs: “I’d have to agree with Mom. I think [white shoes] are fine with a wedding dress or a nurse’s uniform, or if you’re on the courts playing tennis. I know people might be wearing them elsewhere, but they shouldn’t.”
So how are we supposed to make informed choices in our fall shopping outings? How are we to approach Tuesday, Sept. 6? Is there hope for those of us who believe that living in the endless summer means we can make our own fashion rules? Could the undercurrent of equality among shoe colors be about to give rise to a tidal wave of white?
Since more and more women have rolled up their last pair of pantyhose and dumped it in the nearest receptacle, white shoes are beginning to see the light of day in fall and winter. Seems fashion designer Michael Kors has granted us permission, but with the caveat that those of us who choose to stroll sans stockings and a la blanche need to maintain our grooming. “They look good with self-tanner and a good pedicure,” he said in a recent interview. “Preferably red-hot nails!”
OK, so tell me again -- when is it OK to wear bright red nail polish?
Kathleen Clary Miller can be reached at weekend@latimes.com.
