This Has Quickly Become a Heavy Topic

NFL players are getting bigger every year, and they aren’t getting that way, the St. Paul Pioneer Press reports, “by eating bean sprouts and celery stalks.”

To prove its point, the newspaper asked some of the larger Minnesota Vikings what they’d choose for a last meal.

Said 308-pound center Matt Birk: “Pizza with pepperoni and sausage. Extra cheese. And I’d eat as many as I could until I went blind.”

Of course, he added he’d need a pitcher of beer to wash it down.

Trivia time: What two major leaguers share the record for most home runs hit in September, and how many did each hit?

No seconds? Just how big are today’s football players compared with those of yesteryear? Viking quarterback Daunte Culpepper, at 264 pounds, is heavier than 63 of the 69 linemen in the Hall of Fame.

He’s also hungrier. Meal of choice: “Fried chicken, collard greens, macaroni and cheese, yams and banana pudding.”

Scale buster: Pro players have nothing on college kids in the obesity department. The Washington Huskies list freshman offensive tackle Morgan Rosborough as their heaviest player at 390 pounds.

Sweeeet: Wyoming Coach Joe Glenn to the Casper Star-Tribune on the Cowboys’ opening game against perennial powerhouse Florida: “Everybody can’t play their first game against Cupcake State.”

No, but if there were such a school, Rosborough might be interested in a transfer.

Cutting the fat: To save money and limit the use of football media guides as recruiting tools, the NCAA has restricted them to 208 pages. Trimming content was easier for some, according to John Ryan of the San Jose Mercury News.

“Miami saved dozens of pages by not including players’ rap sheets,” Ryan wrote.

Problem solved: Arizona Coach Mike Stoops has an explanation for the Wildcats’ struggles in the red zone last season. “We were discombobulated,” he told the Tucson Citizen. So, the team has put extra emphasis on combobulation and should be vastly improved this season.

Sore loser: White Sox pitcher Mark Buehrle, after a recent 7-5 loss to the Rangers at Arlington, was sure somebody in the front office above center field was using a lights code to tip batters as to what pitches were coming.

“Something’s strange,” he told the Fort Worth Star-Telegram. “They don’t play so good on the road, and at home everybody’s Babe Ruth.”

Nobody’s buying it, though, not even White Sox Manager Ozzie Guillen, who said, “The way Buehrle pitched it seemed like they didn’t need no signs. Everything was right down the middle of the plate.”

Trivia answer: Babe Ruth of the New York Yankees hit 17 in 1927, which was matched by Albert Belle of the Cleveland Indians in 1995.

And finally: Comedian Argus Hamilton on a French newspaper’s claim that Lance Armstrong tested positive for a performance-enhancing drug after winning his first Tour de France: “If it’s not true, it’s libel. If it’s true, just think of the ballplayer he might have been.”