The Times’ rankings

*--* No School Comment 1 USC Only a freak ballroom-dancing injury can stop third consecutive AP crown. 2 IOWA Strange BCS crop circles forming near Coach Kirk’s football farm. 3 TEXAS Coach asks to reschedule Ohio State game for September of 3005. 4 FLORIDA It’s not the heat that worries Urban Meyer, it’s the humidity. 5 VIRGINIA TECH Comparing Vick with older brother is no left-handed compliment. 6 TENNESSEE First team to institute two-a-day court proceedings in off-season. 7 MICHIGAN Webster’s drops Lloyd Carr’s name as definition of “curmudgeon.” 8 OKLAHOMA Sooners didn’t really lose that Orange Bowl, they just ran out of time. 9 OHIO STATE At last check was still looking for any tailback named “Archie” or “Griffin.” 10 MIAMI Likable coach Larry Coker needs 10 wins to keep it that way. 11 LOUISVILLE Could average more points-per-game than Pitino’s basketball team. 12 LOUISIANA STATE Miles takes over hoping Les will be more; more or less. 13 FLORIDA STATE Lowest school has been ranked since it was a women’s college. 14 GEORGIA Team chef wants to know if Boise wants its spuds fried or boiled. 15 AUBURN Won’t go 13-0 this year but Tigers won’t go away either. 16 ARIZONA STATE Two wins (against LSU and USC) from a top-five ranking on Oct. 2. 17 FRESNO STATE Pat Hill fills 2007 schedule opening with New England Patriots. 18 BOISE STATE Opening at Georgia and Oregon State could lead to mashed potatoes. 19 PURDUE Misses Michigan and Ohio State on the schedule, but not Iowa. 20 TEXAS A&M; Love the schedule except for that last part against Oklahoma and Texas. 21 BOSTON COLLEGE Big East kicks back last expense report for dinner with ACC officials. 22 UCLA Rankman would feel more confident if Bruins had third Olson named Merlin. 23 PITTSBURGH NCAA yet to rule whether “Pitt” nickname is hostile and offensive. 24 CALIFORNIA Nearly dropped out of Rankman Index after six voters switched to Texas. 25 UTAH Tough to overcome losses of Urban Meyer, Alex Smith and Andrew Bogut at center.

*--*