Don’t make a date with ‘Love, Inc.’

ATTENTION all you “Elimidate” hot-tubbers: The UPN sitcom “Love, Inc.” requests your presence tonight on the Lido Deck of bad TV for a seminar on dating do’s and don’ts.

For instance: Don’t talk about your mother’s marriage on a first date. If you’re a guy, don’t say “Deuce Bigalow: Male Gigolo” is your favorite movie. Say it’s “Love, Actually.”

Because it’s a chick flick, get it!

The wit and wisdom of “Love, Inc.” fits on a thimble. The show is about a dating service that along with matchmaking offers “wing women,” paid professionals who do things like heading into clubs with desperately single guys to function as guardian angels for the conversationally challenged. Shannen Doherty had the good fortune to be fired from the show after shooting the original pilot, and now leading the charge is Busy Philipps as talky and auburn-haired Denise, who’s supposed to be our sitcom’s triple threat -- brains and beauty, and she can bring the funny.

Well, that’s the theory, anyway. She gives advice like don’t eat anything that’s “crunchy, slurpy or changes the color of your tongue” on a first date. People pay her to say this. In the pilot, Denise finds herself having to wing for an ex-flame, someone for whom she still has feelings. It was R.E.M. that said: Oh, life, it’s bigger. It’s bigger than you and you are not me.

The show costars Holly Robinson Peete as Clea, “Love, Inc.’s” owner and founder. There’s also a wacky-neighbor-as-staff-photographer and two other women, including the Latino one, or the one playing at a Latino; anyway, she’s all about getting a green card.

“Love, Inc.” is as unintentionally unfunny as “Room and Bored” -- the sitcom within a sitcom on HBO’s “The Comeback” -- was meant to be bad. HBO canceled “The Comeback,” but as “Love, Inc.” proves, the spirit of “Room and Bored” lives.

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‘Love, Inc.’

Where: UPN

When: Tonight, 8:30 to 9

Ratings: TV-PG L (may be unsuitable for young children with advisory for language)

Busy Philipps...Denise

Reagan Gomez-Preston...Francine

Vince Vieluf...Barry

Ion Overman...Viviana

Holly Robinson Peete...Clea

Executive producers Adam Chase, Warren Littlefield and Mark Burg & Oren Koules. Creator and co-executive producer Andrew Secunda.