These 1,440 Buds Are for Nigel

If only for his name, Nigel Thatch would make for good copy. Sounds like a character from Monty Python -- perhaps the vicar of a Secret Soybean Society.

Turns out Thatch is a real person and even a thespian of sorts. Besides a decent number of TV credits, he played “Leon,” the brash athlete in Budweiser commercials who liked to say “I ain’t playin’ unless someone is payin’.”

That gave Thatch some notoriety, but it didn’t make him a legend. That had to wait until this spring when Thatch, who also is a minor-league baseball player, was traded from the Schaumburg (Ill.) Flyers to our local Fullerton Flyers of the Golden Baseball League.

Not for a player to be named later. Not for cash. Not even for nebulous “future considerations.”

Thatch was traded for 60 cases of Budweiser.

I’ll leave it to baseball analysts to determine if 60 cases are too much or too little or just right for a pitcher who went 0-3 with a 10.22 earned-run average in 12 1/3 innings for Schaumburg, which plays in the Northern League.

What I want to know is what it feels like to be traded for beer. Not for a shortstop or another pitcher, but for a perishable product.

Unfortunately, Thatch, who lives in Los Angeles, has been giving me the Barry Bonds treatment this week. He first referred me to Anheuser-Busch, which referred me back to Thatch. Thatch didn’t return my subsequent phone calls.

Ed Hart, Fullerton’s general manager, says Thatch’s agent expressed concern that the trade might make Thatch the butt of jokes. “He needs to understand,” Hart says, “that if he wasn’t who he was, he wouldn’t have gotten an offer to play last year. He was given the opportunity because of his celebrity [with Budweiser].”

However, Hart says, “nobody’s poking fun at him. I left him a phone message. I said I hope he’s not offended.”

Thatch has nothing to be embarrassed about. He didn’t make the trade.

Too bad. It was a stroke of marketing savvy, and the guy who instigated things is Kevin Outcalt, commissioner of the league in which Fullerton plays.

Outcalt says he worked out the trade with Schaumburg after learning Thatch wanted to play closer to his Southern California home. “When I talked to Schaumburg about the trade,” Outcalt says, “we looked at his stats and we said we didn’t have a player we wanted to trade for him, but if they just wanted to send us future considerations, we’d consider that.”

From there, Outcalt started thinking in ways that often make minor-league baseball so much fun. Realizing he could buy mass quantities of beer relatively cheaply through the league’s concession company, Outcalt played the beer card.

Rick Rungaitis, the Schaumburg general manager, says the offer made sense. “We pour a lot of Anheuser-Busch products here, so it’s a nice tie-in for us,” he says.

Coupled with Thatch’s commercial ties with Busch, it was a trade that helped both teams: Fullerton was getting a player with some notoriety who could help attendance, and Schaumburg was getting free beer. As for Thatch, he’s getting an actor’s dream: free publicity.

“When you put all the pieces together,” Outcalt says, “it just made sense that the trade was done for beer.”

Now, if only Thatch would sign the standard $700-a-month contract. “We’re not expecting him to come in and turn things around for us,” says Fullerton’s Hart. “Quite honestly, he’s a longshot to make the team, but we offered him a contract. If he wants to come in and throw in spring training, we’ll give him a look.”

When I talked to Outcalt on Thursday, Thatch still hadn’t signed with Fullerton, which opens training camp Sunday and begins the season June 2.

“We think he’s holding out,” Outcalt says.

When I ask how a guy with a 10.22 ERA can hold out, Outcalt says, “He’s Nigel Thatch.”