When will this Hilton punishment ever end?

Paris Hilton, Paris Hilton, why can’t we let you go? Why do you fascinate us so? What spell have you cast, making it impossible for us to go more than two days without thinking or writing about you ... ?

And now a word from the Loyal Opposition, who I’ll loosely define as people who think it’s crazy that Paris Hilton’s name has appeared 211 times in the paper in 2007.

Without further ado, meet Pat Bayley of Anaheim, a retired church volunteer who telephoned three weeks ago to lament the extensive coverage we and everyone else were giving Hilton’s comings and goings, especially her 45-day jail sentence for violating probation on alcohol-related driving charges.

Knowing there must be other Pat Bayleys out there, this time I’m phoning her -- the day after Hilton finished her requisite 23 days of jail time and a few hours before the scheduled airing of her appearance Wednesday night on “Larry King Live.”

“I don’t hate Paris Hilton,” Bayley says. “She’s a beautiful girl, she has a lovely face -- whoever does her makeup ... I just don’t think the young lady -- she’ll kill me for this -- is worth all that publicity.”

So, to be clear, it’s not Hilton herself that bothers Bayley. Nor is she oblivious to celebrity tidbits (“On Sept. 20, I’ll be 73 on the same day that Sophia Loren turns 73”).

It’s just that when Bayley was a young girl, people had perspective on celebrities.

I won’t argue that point, but on with her gripe.

“My gripe,” Bayley says, “is that as life goes on, with all kinds of tragedies and triumphs going on -- OK, look at that lady who lost her dog and the cops gave her a new dog -- she had her moment in the sun and now she’ll fade away. But Paris’ story will not fade away. It’s like O.J. Simpson all over again. And you remember O.J. Simpson.”

What does she do when a Hilton moment flashes on TV? “I do to her what I do to George Bush,” she says. “I turn my back and go into the other room.”

TV is for entertainment and basic information, Bayley says, believing Hilton news doesn’t qualify on either count.

How should the media have handled the situation? “She did a crime, got sentenced and she did the time,” Bayley says. “So, they ought to just drop it now.”

Why does she think we focused so much attention on Hilton?

“Because she’s young, rich and beautiful,” Bayley says. “None of those things I resent. I’m just tired of the stories. Enough already. Let’s get on to the next one.”

She concedes there’s a likely generational element in play. She says she was “1930s-born and 1940s-educated, and my education has been mostly Catholic, and I’ve worked for the church most of my adult life.”

That philosophy leads her to think that people like Hilton, or those plagued with alcohol or other dependencies, don’t benefit from jail time. She would have preferred community service for Hilton, she says.

Uh, just asking: Will she watch Hilton on Larry King?

“No, but my husband will,” she says. You’re kidding, I say.

“Of course, he will,” Bayley says. “I’ve agreed to give him 6 to 7 o’clock tonight. After that, I get Animal Planet. He wants to watch Paris on Larry King, and that’s OK with me.”

OK, I suggest, your husband is an intelligent man. Why doesn’t he share your sentiment that Hilton is unworthy of the attention?

“You and he have one thing in common,” she says. “You’re both males.”

But women follow the story, too. “The ones chasing her are all males, and the young girls all want to look like her,” Bayley says. “I don’t blame them. She’s absolutely gorgeous.”

I don’t tell Bayley, but I’m not a Paris-watcher, either. Unlike Mr. Bayley, I won’t be watching her and Larry coo and giggle at each other.

I thank her for her time, and Bayley jests, “Give me my commission.” Wouldn’t be worth very much, I say.

That’s OK, she says, adding, “I like to see my name in print.”

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Dana Parsons’ column appears Tuesdays, Thursdays and Saturdays. He can be reached at (714) 966-7821 or at

dana.parsons@latimes.com. An archive of his recent columns: www.latimes.com/parsons