Smooth operators

Finally, the “Nip/Tuck” boys are where they belong -- L.A., the cosmic center of cosmetic surgery. Season 3 opens Tuesday with Drs. Sean McNamara (Dylan Walsh) and Christian Troy (Julian McMahon) languishing in their new Beverly Hills digs, where no one seems to care about their Miami exploits. Big, crazy pond, little-bitty fish. But with the help of an uber publicist played by the untouched and still gorgeous Lauren Hutton, they find the exposure they need by serving as consultants on -- what else? -- a show about plastic surgeons. Called “Hearts and Scalpels.” If only it existed!

So we get not only a dark sendup of the whole looks-obsessed culture but also what seems to be a hilarious satire of the television industry, including, at least in the first episode, Oliver Platt as a neurotic director with blood-sugar issues and a track suit.

Indeed, given the nature of the show, the “Nip/Tuck” guest-star possibilities are endless. Rumor has it that Rosie O’Donnell will be back, but why stop there? Larry David dropped in on “Hannah Montana”; what about a little chin-work consult with the guys? He could bring his friend Jerry Seinfeld -- the “Nip/Tuck” audience is not immune to a little “Bee Movie” publicity. What about a cross-pollination with “Private Practice”?

If nothing else, it’s worth watching for the “Hearts and Scalpels” scenes, which should send anyone involved with any of the innumerable medical dramas on air right now reeling through back episodes to see if they ever sounded or looked so ridiculous.

Welcome to L.A., boys. We don’t know how we lasted this long without you.

-- Mary McNamara

(FX, Tue., 10 p.m.)