Madonna’s new CD is at least 2 jams short of a hit

You will talk about: Madonna. Uh-oh, folks! Early buzz on her album is less than awesome. A Madonna-loving co-worker says he hears only three jams on “Hard Candy,” due out this week, and he is of the firm opinion that it takes at least five jams for a record to be considered a hit. Madonna does seem to be working overtime marketing this one -- that weird, sort of depressing video message to Perez Hilton? Not a good look. (Tuesday)

We’d rather talk about: Lil Mama. In case you are not familiar with the 17-year-old rapping powerhouse, here’s the quick story: She got famous for a song called “Lip Gloss” (“My lip gloss be cool, my lip gloss be poppin’, I’m standing at my locker, and all the boys keep stoppin’ ”), then she appeared on a remix with Avril Lavigne, and then she became a judge on MTV’s “America’s Best Dance Crew” -- perhaps the greatest reality television show of all time. This week, her album “VYP: Voice of the Young People” finally comes out on Jive Records. She’s focused, she’s got that energy, she did her thing. (Tuesday)

You can also talk about: “Iron Man.” The first summer movie of the spring comes out this week. Get stoked, people! So many things to talk about! Can Robert Downey Jr. play a convincing superhero? Do people know enough about the character to go see it? Can we expect a sequel? If only “Iron Man” had a catchphrase, we’d use it here. (Friday)

No reason to talk about: “Farmer Wants a Wife.” Remember when that annoying writers strike was going on and all the networks were announcing ridiculous-sounding unscripted shows with titles like “Farmer Wants a Wife,” and it sounded so dumb you just assumed that was something they had to do to scare the writers into taking less-than-ideal contracts? Yeah, well, it turns out they were serious, because this show about a farmer looking for a wife among a group of city-slicker girls is actually getting airtime on the CW this week. (Wednesday)

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-- Deborah Netburn