A lively impression on Mom and Dad

The HOMETOWN visit has become a staple of the dating-competition reality show. When the battle has wound down to its final few competitors, those remaining romantic prospects are provided with the opportunity to bring the object of their communal affection back home to meet the folks. That this regularly feels more like obligation than a gesture of romance should go without saying: The combination of cameras and the persistent need to please make for encounters that rarely shock.

Furthermore, it is a familiar but likely outmoded idea that one can learn much about a person by watching them interact with their folks. Everyone, even those who are most outrageous, turn a little timid when staring down Mom and Pop.

Or at least, so it goes with those selected to participate in “The Bachelor” and “The Bachelorette,” ABC’s reliable heart-tugger franchises. These shows prize family values as highly as the quest for love; over the many versions of both shows, rarely have the families turned out to be something less than functional.

Such is the case on Monday’s episode of “The Bachelorette” (9 p.m.), when DeAnna Pappas travels to visit the families of her final four paramours: Jesse, the professional snowboarder trying to extricate himself from the friend zone; Jason, the single father looking to complete his family; Jeremy, the alarmingly blank perfectionist; and Graham, a former basketball player who seems allergic to depth.

Being that DeAnna is seeking the marrying kind, her seeing these men in nurturing households does little to differentiate them. (A suggestion for future seasons: Let her spy while the men hang out with their friends.) Jesse’s father is a goofball, Jason’s son is adorable, and Jeremy and Graham both begin to show emotional layers.

Like the previous “Bachelorette” stars, DeAnna was selected after being famously rejected on an earlier season of “The Bachelor,” and during this season, she has been efficient, sometimes brutally so, in dispatching those she did not have feelings for. She has been equally demanding of the men, who have been a particularly unrewarding bunch.

Given that, this week tests DeAnna’s mettle, especially when she makes her choice. “I am saying goodbye to the one person that I thought I was falling in love with,” she tells the person she lets go. Later, she says, “First and foremost I want to be in love, and what if that doesn’t happen now?” It’s just more proof that one day of contrived family affection goes only so far.

‘Hot little number’

WHEN Jason’s mother says of DeAnna, during her family visit, “I think we would have a really good time with her,” it is unlikely that she has in mind the sort of good time provided by another bachelorette, the bisexual Tila Tequila, who on her “A Shot at Love 2 With Tila Tequila” (MTV, 10 p.m. Tuesdays) has elevated the hometown visit into site-specific erotic art.

Two weeks ago, she visited the families of her final four: two women, Kristy and Brittany, and two men, Bo and Jay. The most “Bachelorette”-like of the visits was with Bo, a high school football coach from small-town Ohio who is more naive than he looks. (Brian, one of the last contestants eliminated before the hometown visits on “The Bachelorette,” was also a high school football coach. “Coach Wants a Wife,” anyone?) When he introduces Tila to some of his young players, it is a miracle she doesn’t jump them.

Tila’s celebrity is marginal -- she is, at best, a future Hollywood Square -- so sharing sexuality has become her default mode. Each of her other hometown dates is a spectacle. She tells Brittany’s father, who had been absent for most of his daughter’s childhood, “You’re the big pimp, pops!” Then, at dinner, she suggestively consumes a pickle, eyeing him. At Kristy’s home, she dances with Kristy’s father, then whips him with his own belt. She also grabs the breasts of Kristy’s Aunt Mimi, who is also bisexual.

“Tila,” Mimi informs with a grin, “she’s a hot little number.” Says Tila, “I definitely feel at home.”

This may prove only that ordinary people confronted with ridiculous circumstances will do ridiculous things. Regardless, these encounters are among the most discomfiting programming seen on television in recent years, on par with the drug-taking scenes on “Intervention,” the plastic surgeries of “Extreme Makeover” or anything involving Spencer and Heidi.

Seduction should not be a family affair, demonstrated beyond a doubt by Tila’s visit with Jay’s family. The night begins auspiciously, with Tila and Jay making out at the dinner table. Jay’s father then suggests Tila come get a little closer to his wife, Jay’s stepmother.

Later, after Jay’s mother and stepmother kiss, and they both flash their breasts to Tila, the entire party retires to the hot tub, where the family passes Tila around like a relic.

It is a relief, in a sense, to know on television even home is no longer safe.