One drop of alcohol and mom’s a no-show

Dear Amy: My mother has suddenly turned against drinking.

I am hosting a 60th birthday party for myself. My mother will not go if there is one glass of alcohol served.

How I should handle this?

Julia

Dear Julia: You are not the cause of your mother’s distress, but you should do your best to reassure her without letting her unreasonably control you. You should also make sure her health is stable because she doesn’t sound completely rational.

I suggest you lovingly dodge dwelling on this. Make your plans and share your excitement.

If your mother forces the alcohol issue by bringing it up directly with you, ask her what she’s worried about, listen attentively to her and reassure her that everything will be fine.

If she refuses to attend the party if there is a drop of alcohol there, say, “I’ll tell you what: Why don’t we cross that bridge when we get to it? I need you to trust me that this will be a fun evening for everyone.”

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