For them, it’s the season to complain

Dear Amy: For five years my partner and I have hosted Christmas Eve gatherings for his family.

While I think we do a knockout job with decorations, food and gifts, I am always left disappointed with the way my in-laws behave.

They are a bunch of Debbie Downers and Negative Neds who mope through the evening eating, complaining, borrowing our computer to check their MySpace pages and engaging my partner in a violent war game on the Xbox.

My partner doesn’t have a problem with this type of evening because this is how his family “celebrates.”

As our children get older, I am saddened that this is how they will see this holiday being celebrated. I really want to make it special and magical. I have suggested we go to midnight Mass in the past, but that idea was shot down.

How can I nudge everyone toward a more heartwarming evening celebrated with the true spirit of Christmas?

I am the only one in this small family who seems to be unhappy about this.

Decking Halls in D.C.

Dear Decking: Though nothing says yuletide quite like a rousing game of Grand Theft Auto 3, I suggest you get your partner to at least agree to lock away the Xbox and computer on this night.

Mainly, you should concentrate on your children. Few cities are as beautiful as D.C. during the holidays. Make sure the kids see the national Christmas tree and take a spin or two around the skating rink on the National Mall.

Your partner is the key to helping his family adjust to a different way of celebrating, but he knows only the Negative Ned version of the Nativity. Jolly him along by involving him beforehand in the cookie baking and house decorating, and if you want to take the kids to church on that night, you should.

If your guy and his family don’t want to join you, they can make themselves useful by assembling Barbie’s Dream House while you’re gone.

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Dear Amy: I am enjoying your ongoing list of “worst ever” gifts. Does a toilet plunger count? I guess it probably does.

Disappointed

Dear Disappointed: A surprising number of these gifts involve toilets. Let us ignore the obvious symbolism here and laugh at the result.

Readers can check out and contribute to this growing list at twitter.com/santahatesme.

Send questions to Amy Dickinson by e-mail to askamy@tribune.com or by mail to Ask Amy, Chicago Tribune, TT500, 435 N. Michigan Ave., Chicago, IL 60611.