Second wife’s jealousy turns to violent rage

Dear Amy: I recently remarried after 16 years of a first marriage, which ended because of an act of infidelity by my former wife.

I stayed in that marriage too long because of my overwhelming love for my kids.

My current wife and I have only been married a little more than a year, and while I knew she had trust and self-esteem issues, I never imagined what I would have to endure.

My wife is enormously jealous and accuses me of improprieties in our marriage, even though I have gone out of my way to show her how much I love her and that she can trust me.

I have given her all my passwords to all my e-mail accounts and access to my company computer and cellphone. I call her all the time, especially when I travel on business, to show her I have nothing to hide and love her.

Her jealousy and distrust have turned to violent rage, and on several occasions she physically attacked me.

One incident required the police, which led to her arrest due to the injuries I suffered. A court order required her to attend an anger management program, but she has attacked me twice since.

We attended counseling, but our problems have grown worse. I don’t know what to do.

Fearful Husband

Dear Fearful: Leave this relationship immediately. You are being emotionally and physically abused, and you should leave for your own safety. If there are children in the house, get them out too.

Develop a safety plan. Find a friend to stay with, pack your documents, valuables and some clothing without your wife’s knowledge, and leave the home.

Go to the police for an order of protection, and don’t have any contact with your wife other than through a lawyer.

The Domestic Abuse Helpline for Men and Women has content specifically oriented toward men who are being abused. Please check the organization’s website (dahmw.org) or call the help line: (888) 743-5754.

Send questions to Amy Dickinson by e-mail to askamy@tribune.com.