He’s hurt that his pal didn’t defend him

Dear Amy: My buddy and I have been good friends for more than 20 years, but recently one of his country club pals said some nasty things about me.

My friend, “James,” was present, and he is still on very friendly terms with his neighbor.

I asked him about this, and he said he has a right to be friends with each of us and not take sides. Shouldn’t a friend stand up for his good friend?

Barry

Dear Barry: I agree with your friend that he has a right to be friends with whomever he wants.

I also agree with you that there are times when friends simply must take a stand. If someone is bad-mouthing, spreading a rumor or outright lying, a gentleman should intervene to say, “Hey, wait a minute. That’s not true, and I’d appreciate it if you stopped it.”

You should not demand that he sever this other relationship, but you should expect him to defend you in your absence if you are being maligned.

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