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Martha Stewart throws shade — nicely — on Chelsea Handler’s copycat pool selfie

Martha Stewart in January 2019
Martha Stewart had a perfect response to Chelsea Handler’s pool selfie.
(Cindy Ord / Getty Images)
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Welcome to the Instagram face-off between Martha Stewart, who posted a seductive poolside selfie Wednesday, and comedian Chelsea Handler, who re-created the viral photo on her own account later that night.

Domestic diva Stewart, 78, cast a dash of kindly East Hampton shade on 45-year-old Handler’s sunny Bel-Air copycat pool pic, delighting commenters who couldn’t decide who wore it best.

Bless their hearts: This is what happens when upscale white women throw down during lockdown.

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“My pool in East Hampton is the place to be on a 89 degree day!” Stewart wrote in the caption in her millions-making humble-braggy way. “When I built the pool thirty years ago it was designed to be as chlorine free as possible, with a natural concrete finish - no paint - and it fit in a long narrow space between the house and the property line. I made it extra deep for diving and with no protruding steps so we could really race the length without worrying about obstacles. After all these years, It is a fun place to swim!!!”

Then along came Handler, who was somewhere in her mid-teens when Stewart built her pool.

“I’m here to take @marthastewart48’s swimming lesson. If I look this good at 78 I better still have a pool to show myself off in,” Handler wrote in the caption.

Oooh. Was that nice? We think so, but something feels not quite nice, right? It was probably meant to be nice.

Then Stewart slid into Handler’s comments.

“Dear Chelsea I’m so happy that you liked my post well enough to emulate it,” the former model wrote before sliding into a deft critique, à la Martha. “I do think my pool is a little bit prettier than yours and that my facial expression is a little bit more relaxed.”

Not so nice. But niceness followed.

“Nevertheless you are a beautiful girl and ... too young to be emulating me. Continue with your comedy, your humor, and your amazing ability to gather around you political liberals. We need it! Love Martha,” Stewart wrapped up, seemingly attempting to ease any sting.

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Snoop Dogg, a friend of Stewart who once hosted a dinner-party TV show with her, did not weigh in, making this writer very, very sad.

To be honest, just a tiny bit of web searching for Handler’s pool reveals that, yes, Stewart’s is more than a little prettier. The women’s facial expressions? Well, we leave opinions on those to the beholders.

As for East Hampton versus Bel-Air? This publication remains West Coast loyal all the way.

Still, as promised, here is an additional photo showing Stewart’s pool in its entirety, along with a few lil’ backyard snaps. Get ready for gazebo envy.

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