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Netflix’s costume dating show ‘Sexy Beasts’ might turn you off humans entirely

A couple in elaborate masks at a bar
A couple dressed up as a bug and a porpoise interact at a bar on Netflix’s “Sexy Beasts” dating show.
(Netflix)

It’s like Ryan Reynolds’ 2020 ad for Match, come to life.

You know the one — a guy done up as Satan goes to the dating site to find his special person, who winds up being the year 2020. Only this is “Sexy Beasts,” Netflix’s upcoming dating show, and everyone in the competition is dressed up as characters like something out of Fox’s “The Masked Singer.” At least from the neck up.

There’s a woman with a dolphin head. A dude dressed up like a beaver, complete with buck teeth. There’s a scarecrow and a panda, a devil woman and a mandrill — that’s a primate, for those keeping track — and many more, including some guy whose skull has been peeled off to reveal he’s just an oversized brain.

The devil and the mandrill try to kiss, in costume, which is weirder still.

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Netflix tweeted out the “Sexy Beasts” trailer Wednesday with a message explaining the high concept: “Sexy Beasts is a new dating show where real-life singles sport elaborate makeup and prosthetics to put true blind-date chemistry to the test.”

Because it’s hardly a date anymore without a prosthetic, is it? Heads-up to anyone who has been pandemic-dating: That mask-and-sanitizer combo brands you as a rank amateur.

Supposedly, “Sexy Beasts” is all about a prospective love’s personality, because masks that cover a person’s face clearly hide every other element of their physical presentation. Or not. But my, many of these critters look quite trim, don’t they, even with the blue and green makeup trying to cover their skin tones?

Kesha weighed in on Caitlyn Jenner’s “Masked Singer” rendition of her hit “Tik Tok,” and the pop star’s caption revealed she is officially not a fan.

After the Netflix tweet went out, people had ... thoughts.

“Two guys sitting on couch, one takes a long drag on a joint and says, ‘I know, we’ll mix the Masked Singer with the Bachelor,’” wrote one Twitter wit. “Passes the joint and next one takes a long drag, ‘That’s f— brilliant.’ Both cough and have an awkward high five.”

We were tempted to end it there, as that thought seemed to capture the whole scenario, but wait — there’s more.

A woman in red devil makeup and prosthetics
A female “Sexy Beasts” contestant.
(Netflix)

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“Oh no is She Devil a conventionally attractive BRUNETTE???? Instead of a BLONDE????? How will we make this work?????,” one woman gasped, sarcastically.

“You know, when I envisioned the future as a kid, I always thought it would be less goofy than this,” tweeted another.

“We’re not going to make it as a society, are we?,” someone wrote in despair, while another pronounced the obvious: “You know, sometimes ideas should just stay in your head.”

Then again, who knew that Fox’s “The Masked Singer” would turn out to be the hit that it has been? And that show featured Paul Anka dressed as broccoli, for Pete’s sake. The heart wants what the heart wants.

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The six-episode first season of “Sexy Beasts” debuts July 21 on Netflix.


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