Hollywood Headlines: A crazy week in revew

Remember that bizarre car crash that was Joaquin Phoenix on “David Letterman early last year? He showed up heavily bearded, in shades, and grunted monosyllabic responses to Dave. Round 2, which happened in September, turned out to reveal that it was all an act. Of course, we now know that his documentary “I’m Still Here” is really one big, silly joke, but the question on everyone’s lips now is: “Did Dave know?” Well, some would have us believe that the talk show host didn’t, but one of his writers said that everyone was in on the gag.  (Charles Sykes / Associated Press)

Ellen DeGeneres’ lovely wife, Portia de Rossi, has legally changed her name...again. From this day forth until the end of time (or until she changes it again), you can call her Portia Lee James DeGeneres. The pair married during the 2008 window when same-sex marriages were legal in California and have been waiting to be granted a name change by the court. Click to read more about Portia Lee James DeGeneres’ name change.  (Matt Sayles / Associated Press)

Drew Carey is back with a new season of “The Price Is Right” ... well, some of him is, anyway. Eighty pounds woth of the funnyman have vanished, and he hopes they’re gone for good. Carey’s svelte image is due to his cutting carbs and adding exercise -- a novel approach to losing weight that really does work! For more details on how he did it, plus a video of Carey’s trim new body, click away!  (Kevin Winter / Getty Images)

Everyone’s favorite teenage mom, meet everyone’s favorite TV publicity stunt. In what would have been viewed as absolutely scandalous conduct in past decades, an ex-vice presidential hopeful’s daughter showed off her gams Monday night on “Dancing With the Stars.” Bristol Palin shimmied and shook for a captive nation that was subsequently left underwhelmed. The performance got an average rating, but who could deny the car-crash sensibility that surrounded the whole thing? For more of Bristol Palin, her dancing, and her mom Sarah’s last-minute ditching of the event, click the bolded.  (Adam Larkey / Associated Press)

As if she hasn’t had enough problems already, Japan detained Paris Hilton for six hours over two days upon her arriving in the country in September. Six. Long. Hours. God only knows what the socialite did to pass the time. Read? Regardless, at the end of those six hours, Japanese officials decided to put Hilton right back on a plane because her recent drug conviction offended their delicate sensibilities. Hilton traveled there to appear at a fashion show. We suppose you could call her fashionably late.  (Shuji Kajiyama / Associated Press)

“American Idol” lost two of its stalwart judges this year, as Simon Cowell and Ellen DeGeneres moved on. But in September, two new replacements were announced. Come on down, Jennifer Lopez and Steven Tyler! For more details on J-Lo, Steven Tyler, plus Randy Jackson’s and Ryan Seacrest’s reactions, click away!  (Kevin Winter / Getty Images)

Yoko Ono has given the official thumbs up to the new film “Nowhere Boy” about John Lennon‘s childhood and the creation of the Beatles. She even went on to say that Lennon “would have loved the film.” How much do we want to bet there were some huge sighs of relief from the film’s stars at the premiere, including Harvey Keitel, Aaron Johnson, Ethan Hawke and Michael Stipe? Click to read more about the John Lennon biopic’s premiere.  (Astrid Stawiarz / Getty Images)