Coachella 2013: The narrow window to a great party

There comes a time in every party girl’s life when the party stops being fun. Such was the case Friday night at the parties surrounding Coachella when massive lines, overcrowding, ridiculous displays of outsized drunkenness and the general fatigue of everyone made for a tough night out.

The evening’s biggest letdown came in the form of the Diesel + Edun / Rolling Stone: Studio Africa party. Located at a posh ranch just off the festival grounds, the party -- scheduled to begin at 10 p.m. -- was crammed to capacity by 11:15. Nobody arriving seemed to know this and a long line of cars idled for up to half an hour in an ill-managed valet line until they reached the front and were told to turn around and leave.

Once inside, a group of exhausted party people, dressed mainly in fringe and acid-washed jean shorts, sipped Patron cocktails and tried, unconvincingly to evince fun. The party was then promptly shut down at midnight. Why? Why not? (Although the official line had something to do with overcrowding.)

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Outside, the valet line was again completely insufferable with one man in high tops from the Bay Area doing a primitive booty dance up against hapless car windows and even, remarkably, one windshield.

The Details magazine party, hosted by Nas, was also full to capacity by midnight. So if you were unlucky enough to have hit the Rolling Stone party first, then you would have been faced with a shut-out there as well. The moral of the story? If you want to get to one of these parties, be there the second it opens. Forget watching any festival headliners. It’s one or the other.

Those shunned from the Details party roved the residential streets outside like a fluorescent-clad version of “Mad Max: The Musical,” trying to forge other plans. Those plans usually involved offering weed to strangers (er, strange reporters) and trying to lure them to the “Nylon party, which is totally supposed to last until 6 a.m.”

Thwarted, the party-searching-faithful dissappeared in clouds of diesel dust, off to whatever illicit encounters the late-night desert could hopefully provide elsewhere.

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