‘Food Network Star’ recap: Did the network heads sign off on this?

“Food Network Star” fans know: The message is everything. (Actually, the food is everything. But you can’t sell the food without a message, right?)

Now, I’m not saying that Andres was going to win this thing. But, say you are a big-wig TV executive, and you need to come up with a Food Network concept starring either Andres or Danushka. Which one would you choose?

Andres, of course.

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He’ll need some grooming, literally and figuratively. But if you had a talented panel of mentors at your disposal, you could make that happen.

You’d start by putting him in a room with the Flay Man, so he administer a butt kicking. Then move him down the line for A.B. to impart a little motivational treatment -- remember last season? Alton Brown would play the role of the stern-but-still-kindly father and convince Andres to stop looking like a deer caught in the headlights and embrace his history as someone who was brave and courageous enough to lose nearly 200 pounds! What an inspirational platform for helping America battle the bulge. Then, send him on over to Giada De Laurentiis, who would mother him up and spruce him up.

No doubt, she’d start with a razor.

When that was all over you’d end up with a pretty darn good show. A show that would transform the lives of obese adults or children. Maybe even a show that would save said lives.

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Now, let’s compare that with Danushka.

Even if you brought all the Food Network resources to Danushka’s doorstep, what would you be left with?

A pretty piece of work with a nasty attitude.

I was trying to keep an open mind about Danushka -- good TV, and all. And, admittedly, she made a pretty good slider. But then the model-blond made a crack about the sliders being perfect for someone “small” like her, and made fun of people who bite into big sloppy burgers.

I think there’s probably an audience for almost everything food on Food Network (maybe not a huge audience, but an audience nonetheless.) But there’s no room on Food Network for someone who has disdain for that audience.

I can’t help thinking that if Bob Tuschman and Susie Fogelson were around, things would have gone differently this week. (Also necessary to point out: Andres’ Latino background could have helped reach a lucrative demographic that is not only underserved, but also in dire need of nutritional coaching. I think in TV land they’d call that a win-win. And then scurry to sell ads against it.)

Let’s hope that someday “Food Network Star” features past contestants who deserve another shot.

Hopefully Andres will be among them.

In the meantime: Someone tell Andres to start his own online YouTube channel, and then tell me so I can subscribe. Good luck, Andres!

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