Welcome to the adventures of computer dating for senior citizens.
I own a floral business in a small office building and am somewhat isolated all day. I rarely meet eligible men.
So I signed on to a popular dating site and stated I wished to meet an educated, successful, cultured, giving, youthful man.
I found that many of the men had a tendency to write long essays about themselves and what they want in a woman.
These essays with their plethora of adjectives can be quite informative, but by the time emails have been exchanged, and a phone call ensues, one has forgotten most of the essay.
Some include turn-off comments like "I like to cuddle," "I am someone who loves to hold hands and kiss" and "I love to get cozy as an extracurricular activity."
Aren't all good relationships inherently physical? One man included his daily hygiene routine, including how many times he brushed his teeth.
And my favorite reject is the photo with the bare chest.
My not-favorite rejects are the 45-year-olds who are often attractive, but why are they contacting me? I spent hours on the phone with men who were probably players.
They say you don't know a man till you live with him. I say, spend an hour and a half on the phone with one.
So I said, "Never again," and canceled my membership.
However, the dating site continued to send me profiles, and there was someone I wanted to meet and I signed up again. I thought he would be a very special man; he is highly regarded and accomplished in his profession, philanthropic, exceptionally well mannered, interested in the arts.
He invited me to dinner at a very fine restaurant, and I arrived first. When he walked in and took my extended hand, a euphoric calm swept over me.
Our conversation was so easy, and halfway through dinner he invited me for the following evening, which I had to decline due to a prior commitment.
He prolonged the evening, and I could hardly contain my joy in his company. I sent a follow-up thank you, but he never called, and I could not understand why.
So a month later I sent him an invitation to dinner at one of his favorite restaurants. We started with his request to combine burrata with asparagus, which was delicious, and he selected an excellent wine that made me a bit of a zombie.
The dinner was lovely, and he would not let me treat. The rest of the evening did not go as well but certainly should not have doomed the potential of a third meeting.
End of story? Not quite.
In the meantime, an email arrived from a fellow in Canada who was moving to Pacific Palisades and liked my profile. I sent a short response and received his bio, which included his life as a kid, the death of his wife and child in a car accident, etc.
That was followed up with another long email and a set of questions for me to answer: Do I like my looks? What was my relationship with my mother? Where do I see myself in five years?
Obviously, this was not real, and I emailed back that he must be writing a term paper.
Then an amusing exchange of emails over our mutual love of movie popcorn led to dinner at a favorite place of mine. But we both realized that the expected chemistry wasn't there.
The next man and I had a good time at an outdoor restaurant, but we are both busy, and the distance between us is too great.
I then had a coffee date at a small restaurant in Santa Monica; the man had taken a table, paid for his order before I arrived. I have always offered to share the bill, but this was character-revealing.
My next date was tall and handsome and gave me a bear hug when I walked into the restaurant. Unfortunately, he thought I was late, but he was actually a half-hour early.
The next two encounters were with nice men. The first one used a photo on his profile that was probably 15 years old. The latter is a retired attorney who is now writing. He took my $3 for my lemonade, and although we had a good conversation, I became more interested in the gorgeous German shepherd that sat down next to us with his owners.
Back to the original special man: After three months I texted him about a program at the Hollywood Bowl the next month and asked for his opinion. He quickly responded, saying he had tickets and would I join him at the event .
The day arrived, and I could hardly wait, but I didn't hear from him, so at noon I sent a text asking about the time for getting together. He responded with a cold apology that he had just returned from a trip and thought it was the following Sunday.
This supposed gentleman now has the added distinction of being the only man in my entire dating life who has stood me up.
I believe my subscription to the dating site still has some time left, and I am still scanning the profiles, but I believe there must be a better way to meet a great man.
Everyone says I should play golf.
The author is the owner of the floral design studio Millefleur in Santa Monica.