Immigrants adjust to life in U.S. with determination and humor

When Kibreab Weldegabr, an asylee from Eritrea, bought groceries in the U.S. for the first time, he approached a counter and, reading a display card, asked for “One L-B-S.”

The salesperson responded, “You mean, one pound?”

No, Weldegabr said, he wanted one “L-B-S.”

Eritrea uses the metric system. Weldegabr, 26, had never needed to understand English measurement units before winning his asylum case a few months ago.

His attorney Elizabeth Lopez, founder of the Southern California Immigration Project, recently hosted Weldegabr and three other clients from African countries on a panel at First Unitarian Universalist Church of San Diego to share stories about adjusting to American culture.

“I want you all to get a glimpse of what I get to hear every day,” Lopez told the crowd. “They’re people and go through the same things we do.”

She told the story of a client who worked bussing tables at a restaurant as one of his first jobs in the U.S. When a waitress gave him some of her tip money at the end of her shift, he was offended. He thought that meant that she thought he needed a handout.

After he learned about American tipping culture, he apologized.

Playfully named “To Get to the Other Side,” Lopez’s event opened with clips from “The Good Lie,” a 2014 film about refugees from Sudan getting used to life in the U.S.

The clips ranged from somber moments like when two brothers working at a grocery store have to throw away expired food to humorous scenes like when the brothers are trying to memorize all of the kinds of cereal.

The event panel’s stories about what surprised them in the U.S. had a similar range of emotions.

Both Nadine Umutoni, a 28-year-old from Rwanda, and Sadiq Hassan, a 25-year-old from Somalia, talked about how beautiful they found the U.S.

“When I came to the U.S., I saw green land — beautiful,” Umutoni said. “You can go out and enjoy the beautiful, green scene. When I was back at home, I never knew there was such a thing.”

Hassan said, “We have paradise on earth, and that’s U.S.A.. In Africa, most of the houses I’ve seen are made of mud and stones. Wood houses — it’s wonderful. I’d like to be here forever.”

Jumi Onimole, a 46-year-old Nigerian woman who came to San Diego about two years ago with her son, said the first thing that struck her about the U.S. was how many people were homeless.

“It made me realize what we see back in Africa is also here,” Onimole said.

The difference, she said, is that because of corruption in her home country, much of the money meant for programs to help people ends up lining the pockets of people in power.

Several members of the panel talked about struggling with the differences between English spoken in their countries and English spoken in the States.

“I speak English fluently,” Hassan said, thanking the audience profusely every time it was his turn to speak. “I understand some people, and some people, I don’t understand you.”

Onimole joked that back home, they speak “real English” — British English.

“The U.S. was colonized by the British. We were colonized by the British,” she said. “So, why are we speaking different English?”

The audience laughed loudly with her.

The panelists also talked about American customs that were new to them but that they appreciated.

Onimole explained that in Nigeria, party hosts are expected to provide all of the food for their guests. She was surprised but delighted to learn about the concept of pot lucks.

Hassan talked about learning about to-go boxes at restaurants. He was eating out with a friend, and both were too full to finish their food.

He explained that, in his culture, asking for a to-go box would be considered disgraceful.

“This is a shame,” he told his friend when his friend asked for a container. “Why are you shaming us?”

“This is America,” his friend responded. “Welcome to U.S.A. We don’t throw no food here.”

Lopez asked the group what Americans could do to better help them adjust to life in the U.S.

“When someone answers a simple question, it makes a difference,” Umutoni responded, giving an example of showing a new arrival how to use an ATM. “You go home feeling like you learned something and are ready for tomorrow.”

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kate.morrissey@sduniontribune.com, @bgirledukate on Twitter