Joel Stein chat transcript

Start: 2 p.m.
Moderator1: Hi, welcome to our chat with Joel Stein.
Joel Stein: Yeah, welcome to 1997.
Moderator1: Let’s begin with a question we received via email this morning.
Kristen Rockwell asks “Joel, who do you loathe the most in this countrytoday and why?”
Joel Stein: I don’t want to give away a future column, though, really who isgoing to bother stealing it, so I’m hating Lou Dobbs right now. I’m going towatch a bunch of his stuff and call him and tell him I hate him. Hopefullythat will make a column.
Rob: Joel, why do you think so many people dislike you?
Joel Stein: I think it’s my looks. I look like someone you should hate. Eventhough I’m so damn likeable.
Andy Rooney: Two people: me and Joel Stein?
Joel Stein: Back to Lou Dobbs. He’s really evil. I hate him more than NancyGrace. And she killed someone.
surfman: joel, what do you expect from bush’s speech tonight?
Joel Stein: You feel that on your neck, Andy? That’s me breathing down it.
Joel Stein: I expect not to watch it. And for him to avoid the word “Iraq.”
lagata: What is the potential impact of having a publisher with republican
links on the Times’ editorial page
Joel Stein: The page is so libertarian already, I don’t know what he coulddo. Who is this Republican? I thought all the L.A. billionaires wereliberal.
Michelle: Hi Joel, You’re cute, and I totally support your irreverentattitude. We don’t need more stuffed shirts like Goldberg.
Sparky: Do you enjoy reading your hometown paper?
Sparky: Which was a bigger bomb last year, Sharon Stone’s “Basic Instinc2” or your “I don’t support the troops” column?
Joel Stein: Yeah, screw Goldberg. I like this woman who thinks I’m cute. Lether ask more questions.
Moderator1: We have a ringer. SOmebody in the peanut gallery is callinghimself thejoelstein!
Joel Stein: I think my column was a bigger bomb than Sharon Stone. At leastshe looked good as she was going down.
Sparky: Do you care about the reaction , or do you develop a thick skin?
Joel Stein: My hometown paper? You mean the News Tribune in Jersey? I loveit! Marmaduke every day.
oakmonster: Sharon Stone? Look good? I think not.
Chow: “In it to win it.” Does this sound like something you’d say beforeyou ran for the presidency or before you entered a pie eating contest?
Joel Stein: I do care about the reaction. That was a tough week. Some reallytough email from soldiers, parents of soldiers. Of course I care.
elizabeth88: I do believe it is a cop out to oppose a war, and yet supportthe troops.
oakmonster: Does this chat count as sending Joel Stein a letter? (BTW -LOVE that article.)
WallyBall: What do you miss about Time Magazine?
Joel Stein: I’m never been in anything to win it. I’ve been in it for power,free stuff and attention. That’s what she should have put on the website. Anhonest campaign.
Abel: Many Americans, including atheists, Brethren, Jehovah’s Witnesses,Mennonites, and Quakers, have refused orders to join the military, even whenthey knew they would be imprisoned. If you were faced with that choice inthe current U.S. action in Iraq, would you follow orders or go to prison?And if alternatives were available, is there an alternative you wouldprefer?
Joel Stein: I miss my friends in the office, but I see them a lot. I spentthe last two months there helping out on the redesign. I think it’s going tobe cool. And I’m going to write for them some more.
IPP: Joel, would you rather be 20% smarter or 20% better-looking?
Joel Stein: We shall agree to disagree on Ms. Stone. She hung up on me oncefor no reason, so my judgment is purely aesthetic.
Joel Stein: I also miss my Time expense account. The L.A. Times reimbursesme for nothing. This is a good place to air my work grievances, right?
thejoelstein: Lou Dobbs hates immigrants and their cultural holidays. Myguess is he already hates you.
IPP: why does gawker hate you?
Joel Stein: If I were drafted, I’d be in Vancouver. I’m not proud of that,but it’s true. And I really like Vancouver.
Joel Stein: 20% smarter. I’m married.
WallyBall: nice
Eric: Joel, in a previous column you asked your readers not to e-mail you,which led me to believe that you really dislike your fans. So I was a littlesurprised to see you signing up for this. Did you need some extra cash orsomething?
Joel Stein: I just talked to the Gawker woman and she was really nice. Ithink hate is their way of showing love. I think Gawker was abused as achild. Perhaps sexually.
Jenny: Joel, I love a writer that is (don’t want to get your wifetoo jealous) re: your recent column
Eric: Marmaduke? That has to be one of the worst comics out there. Rightafter Peanuts and Garfield.
IPP: Why did you have a mullet in high school?
Joel Stein: Extra cash? You think the L.A. Times has extra cash? I’m notgetting paid for this. I’m just doing it because my editor really wants toget the paper on the newest, currentest trends, like chat rooms.
Joel Stein: Why did I have a mullet? Because I liked to rock. Rock hard. ToRush and Whitesnake. The question is: Why didn’t you have a mullet in highschool?
oakmonster: Your pick for Best Picture? Yes, “I don’t give a hoot” is anoption.
Joel Stein: Is it bad that my fingers hurt already?
Abel: Pace yourself, Joel
Joel Stein: I liked that Little Miss Sunshine. I’m really glad you askedthat question. It’s what chat rooms are for.
Jean: Joel; who decides what an Op-Ed Subject will be for any given day?Joel Stein: Jean, they don’t even ask me beforehand. I’ve never written forsomeone who didn’t ask me what I was writing before I hand it in. It,honestly, is one of the best things about this job. They just take whatevercrap I write. You may have noticed that.
twizzler1985: Creamy or chunky?
Joel Stein: Creamy, but coming around to chunky.
ocelotli: Joel, are there any topics for your op-ed column that youpreferr not to write about, or is everything up for grabs?
Joel Stein: I avoid writing about what everyone else is writing about:basically how awesome/sucky the President is, or who is going to run forPresident. I find they get to be all the same and it’s hard to findsomething new to say. Though they always wind up near the top of the mostemailed list.
Salvador: Joel, why in gods name did you move to El Hays
WallyBall: Will you ever be going back to Burning Man in a trailer?
tmentzer: As a former reporter and editor, I can’t begin to guess how manytimes I wished to express the sentiments from your column. What was thegeneral feedback you received from colleagues?
Joel Stein: But yeah, anything is up for grabs.
Joel Stein: What’s El Hays? And why did I move there? Why didn’t someonetell me I live in “El Hays”?
Sparky: are you a Hollywood wannabe or are you content as a newspapercolumnist?
Joel Stein: Tmentzer, if you meant the one where I said I didn’t want myreaders to email me, I’d say 100 percent of the emails I got fromjournalists were really positive. So who is it that’s putting our emails onthe bottom of columns?
jean: Joel, I am disturbed by your response regarding Sen. Clinton; doesthis mean all your Ops will be tilted so far to the rightr?
SlutFaceWendy: Joel: What’s the dream life? Sitcoms? Magazines? Columns?
Gargamel: Ferguson, Boot, or Chait....who would you kick off the islandfirst?
Joel Stein: I’m pretty much a Hollywood wannabe. Though if I had to choosebetween writing scripts and writing columns, I would definitely choosecolumns. Esp after working on a sitcom writers room last year. I really likewriting sentences and seeing my byline in print. Though the snacks wereawesome.
Chow: Joel, how come sit-com writers don’t get this kind of fan mail? Imean, as much fan mail.
Joel Stein: Jean, I am sorry I disturbed you. I’m typing as fast as I can.
WallyBall: Do you have any children? That you know of, that is. (Becareful how you answer since we used to date.)
chuck: I"ll tell your editor again that it is ONLY because of your columnthat I take the times.
Salvador: What name do you use when your into one of those real chatrooms. Did you go by the Hammer by any chance?
Joel Stein: The sitcom writers name is put on the screen for far too short atime. It should run on the bottom of the screen the whole episode. Also, noone watches sitcoms anymore.
Ida: When are you going to move from that hellhole that is LA?
Joel Stein: More from Chuck.
Joel Stein: I love the L.A. It’s warm and I can hike and be reallysuperficial. It’s my spiritual home.
catlipz: Obama was educated at a Muslim school - might that make a goodcolumn?
Joel Stein: Seriously, let Chuck talk, damnit!
chuck: when are you going to do a book of all your columns.??
jean: LA has far more culture; opportunities; space and freedom to choosea lifestyle of your own than anywhere else in the US
Joel Stein: Catlipz, that’s a horrible idea for a column. Leave the columnideas for Chuck. Chuck?
hio: Do you have any advice for college students who want to pursue acareer in journalism?
Joel Stein: My book editor said no one would buy a book of my columns. Shesaid I have to write a real book. I said that sounded hard.
Gargamel: Does 30 Rock count as a sitcom? It’s superb. Also, you’re theonly reason I keep my subscription active, as well.
Eric: Would you like to ask us any questions, or do you not realyl careabout what we think?
JoeMan: Is Chuck your alter ego or are you using a different computer toask yourself questions....heheh
Joel Stein: Hio, blog away. That’s what the kids are doing. It’s the freeweekly/small town paper of our times. That’s how people get hired withouthaving to work their way up.
Sparky: When I read your column mentioning Cassandra, I often think: ‘poorwife’ But you’re kind of asking for it. Did getting married change yourviews on certain things?
Joel Stein: I can’t believe my one fan is named Gargamel. He wasn’t even afully developed bad guy. Why did he hate smurfs so much, but love cats? itmade no sense.
Samantha: Joel, I was wonderign what you thought about the closing ofDutton Books? My friends from LA are really worried about LA loosing itsquirky side.
Joel Stein: Getting married changed my views on having sex with otherpeople. Almost completely. I feel bad for her too. But I run everything byher and she doesn’t care at all. She likes to embarass me more than I liketo embarass her. Her threshold for embarassment is way higher than mine.
IPP: Joel, why do you think white suburban kids love rap music?
Joel Stein: Dutton’s is closing? I was there last week for my first time.How are they going to clean it up to close it?
JoeMan: What were Smurfs anyway? and the cat’s name was Azreal. Give thecat some respect, Joel!
thejoelstein: last year you put tony snow in your joel 100, is he still inthere now that you’ve seen him in action?
jean: So guess I take my Op Eds too seriously
Joel Stein: Eric, I don’t care what you think. But I deeply care what Chuckthinks.
WallyBall: Does the fact that 55 people are here excite you? Or disturbyou?
Joel Stein: hey, you can’t call yourself “the joel stein”. That’s like mecalling myself Chuck. Tony Snow is still very special to me.
salmi81: i know u taught once, do you think you’ll do it again?
Joel Stein: All 55 people here disturb me. And I’ve probably lost all ofthem as readers due to this bore-fest.
wls: are you generally hated by your newspaper cohorts. tough forjournalists to befriend the one they envy most.
Joel Stein Jr.: What publications do you read daily? Weekly?
Joel Stein: Salmi, I’d teach again. But what is it exaclty that you'reasking. Because I’m married, Salmi. Mar-ried. Let’s kick Slami off. Let'skick someone off. Let’s raise the stakes here.
Joel Stein: WLS, I’m hated? Who hates me? Chuck LOVES me. LOVES me. Chuck'slove makes up for all the hate in the world. Chuck’s love keeps me goingwhen the haters are at my door.
twizzler1985: Are you terrified that Radosh is observing all of this with
evil glee for his blog?
Joel Stein: Why did this stop working? Did the time machine to 1997 break?
MC: How many VH1 specials do you get called to do?
Joel Stein: I read the Economist, or the first few pages of it. I readSunset because I’m excited to be in CA. I read Defamer, because I’m excitedto be in CA. I read the NYT and LAT. I read Esquire and Bitch. I readBusiness 2.0. I read Time. I read the Friday WSJ sometimes.
Joel Stein: Twizzler, I think Radosh has better things to do. Right? I hopeso for his sake.
Joel Stein: I read lots of stuff. Really. All the way through.
Joel Stein: MC, about one a week.
Joel Stein: I now realize that most of the people on here are my friendsmaking fun of me. SHOW YOUR FACE, CHUCK. OR SHOULD I SAY “MOM”?!
Kaonashi: I love your stuff, Joel. How come you never answer my email?
MC: Satire? Dead or alive?
Joel Stein: Koanashi, if your chat comment is any indication, I love yourstuff too.
Joel Stein: MC: Satire... alive! As proven by this idea for a chat room.
chuck: I am not your mom. wouldn’t want to be. I feel sorry for her. butstill think you are the 8th wonder of the world.
IPP: joel, why did you use so many pictures from my wedding on yourwebsite?
Joel Stein: Keep it coming, Chuck.
MC: chuck--even if he doesn’t want to talk TO us? :)
omeon: You once wrote you hate reader mail. Why face the readers here?
Joel Stein: Well, IPP, it happened to be a great wedding. Though the horsd'oerves... eh.
catlipz: who is your fave presidential candidate?
Joel Stein: I can get all my reader mail out of the way in one hour. It’s agood deal for me. Oh, who am I kidding. My editors made me do this. Next,they’re going to make me hook up their VHS recorder and we’re going tolisten to Chumbawumba.
Naomi: please say obama, please say obama, please say obama...
chuck: joel is at his best when he just let’s his mind wander. and thentries to capture it in writing. his humor is robin willams like:bizarre butinteresting to watch
lewis carroll: you said your lazy why visit my school?
Joel Stein: My fave presidential candidate? I liked that John Edwards. But Ihaven’t met them all yet. Oh, okay Naomi, Obama. If it will make Naomihappy, I’ll say anything.
Joel Stein: WHOA, CHUCK, ROBIN-WILLIAMS-LIKE. You mean Good Morning VietnameRW, not RV RW, right? RIGHT, CHUCK?
ManiaTV!: how many letters fo you get a day/
Joel Stein: Lewis Caroll, your portmanteau use of “your” for “you’re” wasclever. And I shall come to your school where you get too close to children.
Joel Stein: Mania TV, it depends on how bad my column was. I get about 100 aday if it was a good column. About 4 if it wasn’t. That’s why I don’t writebetter.
Joel Stein: Seriously, Naomi, when I said “Obama” how exciting was that foryou?
oakmonster: Your LA favorite bar?
omeon: So basically you’re just another LA writer who’ll do anything for abuck to avoid having to get a real job. Grinning BTW
AnneFY: Did you do any interviews I missed (other than the one with HughHewitt) about the article you wrote about not supporting the troops becauseyou don’t support the war?
Joel Stein: My favorite L.A. bar? This chat is like the worst date ever. Howcould that matter? Would you avoid that bar? Judge me by my choice of bars?I’m not playing your little games, Oakmonster, no way.
JoeMan: OEMON -- There are a lot of good LA writers who don’t have realjobs. Just ask TJ Simers.
Joel Stein: Keep up the grinning, Omeon, and we’ll see where it gets you inthis chat room. Kick him off. Kick off everyone besides Chuck. We need somealone time.
I live in Ecuador: So how do you become an op-ed writer?
LT: How many degrees of meta will it be when you write a column about thischat?
Joel Stein: AnneFY, I only did 3 interviews, all classics. Hugh Hewitt,American Genius; Tony Snow, whose show I can’t find anymore; and someliberal dude up in Oregon who’s name I don’t remember. Collect them all.
ManiaTV!: were you a cocky kid?
Samantha: Have you ever been back to that cuddle session place?
IPP: how do you feel about flunky the clown
Joel Stein: LT, could you imagine the column about this chat? It would behilarious. A must read. I shall save it for my book, it will be so good.
AnneFY: Can I download them from somewhere? I listen to the HH interviewevery once in a while to remind myself why my son isn’t going to anivy-league college.
Joel Stein: I was a very cocky kid, Mania TV. It was not becoming. Now, Iwear it very well. But back then, my cockines was not a think you wanted tonear.
oakmonster: Do you read any blog? Just curious.
dwhs com: will Hillary ever be president?
IPP: will you ever play fantasy baseball again?
Joel Stein: Anne FY, I don’t know about downloading. But put your son on thephone with me and I shall make fun of him and his SATS scores directly foryou
Joel Stein: IPP, I would play fantasy baseball again if my partner didn'toverthink everything and get tricked into making bad trades every year. Orever get a closer.
Salvador: Can you dance at all?
alloquy: will schwarzenegger ever be president?
Joel Stein: DWHS, Why would I know that. Just because I have my own chatroom doesn’t mean I know everything. But yes, as it happens, I do know thatHillary will be President someday.
Joel Stein: Salvador, I can do the cabbage patch, the robot and themoonwalk.
JoeMan: Could you give us your overall official political ideology?
Judge: hey Joel, of the people in the chatroom, how many do you think areat work? does it bother you that they’re getting paid and you’re not?
Joel Stein: Alloquy, I haven’t read the entire constitution, but I thinkthere are some rules about having made movies with Danny DeVito barring youfrom the Presidency. Which is why Billy Cristal is so sad all the time.
Joel Stein: Joe Man, sure. My political philosophy is rational, with a tinybit of irrationality thrown in.
Amanuensis: So, Joel, is this chat session a supplement to your specificcolumn on 2nd Life, or do you do this every Tuesday?
lewis carroll: be warned mr stein your trip to hoover high school tomorrowwill be quite dull!!
lewis carroll: why are you coming to hoover high school tomorrow?
Joel Stein: Judge, you make an excellent point. I am the only one notexploiting a company here. Everyone reach into your mommy’s purse, take outthe little green pieces of paper and send it to the address on the bottom ofthe screen.
Gargamel: How much would you pay to buy the LAT from Tribune?
logroller: what’s your fave show on cable?
Joel Stein: Lewis, I can’t believe I have to go this again at a high schooltomorrow. Why am I going? That teacher kept asking. And I didn’t know how tosay no. I pre-regret it.
Naomi: i wish you had come to my high school
Joel Stein: Owning a newspaper sounds hard. I like to be the exploitedworker.
IPP: should i have children?
Joel Stein: Naomi, my Obama statement affected you. I am glad.
alloquy: Why haven’t you written something funny here like in yourcolumns ?
Joel Stein: IPP, the truth is that your wife should have kids, but youshould not.
omeon: What do you think of Progressive Talk Radio, FOX News and MSNBC?
Joel Stein: My fave show on cable: Deadwood. Thanks for asking. Finally, asmart question that’s not from Chuck. Or are you here under two names Chuck?
Sparky: Don’t cha wish the LAT was fun like, say, the New York Post? Orare you pretty much happy to be one of the few funny guys there?
Joel Stein: How many people have logged off? That’s the question. I'mguessing three times as many as logged on.
I live in Ecuador: Joel, what’s your story? Are you suppose to be cool orsomething?
Joel Stein: The less funny the LAT is, the better is is for me.
IPP: if they made a film about your life, what actor would you want toplay you?
Joel Stein: Ecuador, in America I am pretty much the definition of cool. Idon’t know all your Ecuadorian dance moves and your Ecuadorian songs, butrest assure, here in the USA, it’s basically me and Justin Timberlake thatdefine cool. Though he did more of the bringing sexy back and I did more ofthe bringing AOL technology from 1997 back.
jean: Have you been to the best deli in LA (or the world) yet?
jean: Do you eat Deli? ... if so it is Canters on Melrose ... the onlyDeli inLA
Joel Stein: IPP, I’d go either with Colin Hanks or Jon Cryer.
Alien: Mr. Stein, why do you feel that the LA Times is so out of step withthe people who populate the rest of LA?
Joel Stein: Jean, I have. But maybe.. Langers?
lewis carroll: hows your music career going?
alloquy: canters aint on melrose
alloquy: jeez
JoeMan: OK, Joel. What’s your favorite band? The Poice are coming back,you know
unskinnybob: yes canters is on fig
Joel Stein: Alien, you are asking me why the LAT is so out of step withpeople. Let me remind you that you are an alien. You may not be the bestjudge of things. Best to just sit still and observe us for a while beforecoming up with conclusions to send home.
alloquy: do you have a wheezy high pitch voice or a deep sensual voice?
alloquy: lol not on fig either...
Moderator1: Sorry for the moderating hiccup. No more discussion of canters
DudeAsInCool: Will you still have a job when David Geffen takes over?
Joel Stein: WHERE IS CANTERS?! Do we need to send a small search group outto find out? I say we send Lewis Carroll, Alien and Naomi and get this thingsorted out. NOW!
I live in Ecuador: Are you one of those once famous dudes who does “I lovethe 80’s” on VH1?
Alien: The sad truth is that most of us living in the LA area feel likealiens because the LA Times feature columnists that don’t want to hear ourtperspective.
Naomi: please say yes, please say yes, please say yes
Joel Stein: I’m the first person Geffen fires. If you bought a paper you'dwant it to be important and serious so you could feel important and serious.I’m totally rooting for the Tribune to keep control.
Samantha: How much trouble did you get in for your article on torture? Anyactive disownments?
Joel Stein: You tell them Alien. What can I do to make you feel included?I’ll do it for you, Alien. A column on eating cats? On Reese’s Pieces. Youtell me and it’s yours.
alloquy: how often do you drink milk?
Joel Stein: Samantha: No trouble. I was surprised. Though, actually, I don'tknow if you can actively disown a column. But I’d like to see someone try.
Joel Stein: Hey, Naomi... yes.
lewis carroll: hows your music career going?
Naomi: can you sing?
Naomi: can you play guitar?
Joel Stein: Ecuador, I’m a never-famous guy who does those Vh1 shows.
Salvador: I met my wife at Canters, but joel I hate her mother, how didyou deal with your motheroutlaw issues please help
jean: Canter’s opened in the 30s and has been open continuously since;NY’rs opened it and the best Kreplach in the world besides Corned beef todie for
jean: It is a Hollywood Institution; writers, directors, actors,journalists, you name it. they have all been to Canters
Joel Stein: I like my mother-in-law. Learn to love her. Smother her withkindness. Or sleep with her. Just bit the bullet and sleep with her. She'llbe so uncomfortable around you, she’ll keep quiet or avoid you completely. Ishould be on Loveline with this kind of brilliant advice.
JoeMan: Here you go!!.....
thejoelstein: so do you like the attention from fans or is it creepy whenpeople add you on myspace, leave comments, send emails etc?
Joel Stein: Is this Canter’s big advertising plan? To infiltrate blogs?Brilliant!
jean: Ask anyone who has been in LA two minutes ... It is on Melrose nearthe old CBS studio ... near 3rd and Melrose I believe
alloquy: if all the people in la put in 50 bucks we could own you steinand buy the paper
Joel Stein: Seriously, what’s the best thing about Canters? Describe indetail.
Greg: This isn’t a blog Joel. It’s a website.
oakmonster: But why would I want to own Joel Stein? Is he housetrained?
Gargamel: how long will it be before they force you to chat with us again?
Joel Stein: Oh, Gargamel, it’s going to be a very, very long time. For allof our sakes.
dpw1227: how do you want your epitaph to read?
Joel Stein: If one person put in 50 bucks he could own me. If you know whatI mean. And I mean sex.
Greg: What do you think of Stephen Colbert’s show?
Joel Stein: I’d like my epitaph to just be a recreation of this chat. Thatwould be about right.
lewis carroll: how did martha stewart fire you twice in the same day??dont tell me you slept with martha
IPP: is this discussion about LA delis yet another example of how LA isjealous of NYC?
Joel Stein: Lewis, Martha didn’t fire me twice in one day. She fired metwice in a year, while I worked there.
Joel Stein: I did, however, think Martha was hot. Have I shared too much?Have we taken this chat too far now? Will they finally kick me off.
dpw1227: why doesn’t the moderator actually post our questions?
Moderator1: I dunno
JoeMan: The best thing about canter’s is this, from their website (andyou’ll like this Mr. STEIN......Canter’s is open 24 hours a day, seven daysa week, and on all holidays except Rosh Hashanah and Yom Kippur.
lewis carroll: why cant there be a the late show with joel stein is carsondaly really better than you?
Joel Stein: Yeah, moderator, we need more questions about Canters. I NEED TOKNOW MORE ABOUT CANTERS!
Moderator1: The consensus seems to be that Canters is on Fairfax. Can weagree on that?
Moderator1: Regardless of what’s actually true?
Joel Stein: Carson Daly, sadly, is actually better than me. At everything.Including not eating.
alloquy: is the moderator more Interesting than stein?
Moderator1: Yes.
Salvador: yes
Naomi: no carson daly is NOT better than joel stein
oakmonster: But not more interesting than Canters.
Joel Stein: I think Canters actually may be moving, like a stealth deli. IsNaomi on this? Alien? Someone. Get in your damn car, drive to Canters andreport back.
sammyb: do you write like you talk...or talk like you write?
ManiaTV!: would you go on Tom Green Live?
Joel Stein: Sammy, your koan confuses me. I think I write like anexaggerated better smarter meaner version of how I talk.
Salvador: JOel tell the truth, do you ever go into real Chat rooms andflirt?
Joel Stein: ManiaTV, I’m totally in. I’ve watched that show and I love it,when it works. Which is rare.
oakmonster: Which cast would really save the world: Heroes, Lost, or the4400?
Joel Stein: Salvador, I don’t think chatrooms exist anymore. Though injunior high, I was on bulletin boards as The Rap King and wrote in rhymingcouplets. I’d get thown off all the time for being mean. The internet wasmuch more genteel in 1984.
Samantha: have you ever done stand up?
Joel Stein: By they way, Mania TV is the only one who cares enough to pick acolor? Chuck? You don’t really care all that much, do you?
omeon: Favorite mogul, Iger, Murdoch, Redstone?
Joel Stein: Samantha, no. Stand up is hard and scary. Even Homer had a lute.
Joel Stein: Omeon, Redstone, obv.
sammyb: suge knight
jean: i believe anyone who uses the words “rap” and “music’ in samesentence should get the death penalty
fakename4you: Joel, what’s your favorite bad word?
JoeMan: Favorite bad word should be...F**k Canter’s
Joel Stein: Fakename, it’s “fancy”. I hate that word. My second leastfavorite word is “panties”. And are you actually James Lipton, Fakename?
Naomi: Jesus or Muhammad?
Joel Stein: Seriously, let’s kick someone off, moderator.
Moderator1: Who should we kick, Jesus or Mohammad?
Joel Stein: Naomi, I’m a Jew. Who’s the Jew God? I pick him.
Joel Stein: I say igolder. He’s a freeloader. No questions.
Gargamel: Who brought down ‘Crumbs’? Was it Savage?
omeon: Funny you don’t look Jewish.
chuck: joel. thanks for doing this. next time, make us pay real money forit. you’ll get rid of the cheapskates that way. or give scholarships to thehumorously needy
Joel Stein: Gargamel, oh not Savage. Savage is a king. I’m going with thedamn Dancing With the Stars viewer. They’re so damn picky. They didn’t stayto watch our show.
lewis carroll: honestly joel be my journalism teacher
Naomi: could you be the like jack bauer on 24 and save the world all thetime?
Joel Stein: MORE GOOD IDEAS FROM CHUCK! Next time, just me and Chuck.
Greg: So Joel, what’s your user name on SecondLife?
Joel Stein: Greg, I was JoelStein Plympton. But I don’t know if I’ll beback.
Naomi: favortie ancient greek: homer, plato, or thucydides?
Samantha: Do you do speaking engagments though? If my college wanted tobring you to campus, could that be arranged through monetary bargaining?
omeon: Redstone because he fired T.C. or less obvious reasons?
Joel Stein: Naomi, Plato, followed by Home. Thucydides was a phony andloser.
Gargamel: Is it possible to wear a bluetooth headset without looking likea tool?
Joel Stein: Samantha, just email me about it. My email, to my chagrin, is onthe bottom of my L.A. Times column.
Joel Stein: Gargamel, no. Sadly, no.
lewis carroll: joel who would win chuck norris or jack bauer
I live in Ecuador: so basically, joel, you’re a gigantic dork who has hadhis 15 minutes of fame and is now doing chat rooms for wanna-be fam-dorks?
Joel Stein: Seriously, is this the rest of my life, answering dumb popculture questions from high school students who call themselves LewisCarroll? Will someone just end this thing? For all of us?
Moderator1: Well, we’re past our deadline, but since I spent a few minutesin the moderation drunk tank, let’s get a few more questions in and thenwrap.
dpw1227: what’s your position on embryonic stem cell research
Joel Stein: Ecuador, I can’t believe it’s taken you 72 minutes to figurethat out. Congratulations.
Salvador: Joel Im going to take my nap now
Joel Stein: Will this color end this? Is there a special button? Is there noKevorkian for chat rooms?
Moderator1: OK, thanks, everybody. We’re taking Joel back to his specialroom.
Gargamel: Gargamel out.
Samantha: thank you!
alloquy: weee
Joel Stein: Remember, if you want a copy of this chat, just send a blankbetamax tape to the L.A. Times and they’ll telegraph it right back to you bypony express.
ManiaTV!: Thanks Joel, see you in the paper
Gargamel: Red works for me. Thanks, Joel.
lewis carroll: see you tomorrow joel!
Naomi: thank you sooooo much
dpw1227: see you at canters
Joel Stein: To end this, as per Ulysses, yes, Naomi, yes.
End: 3:15 p.m.