Jianan Qian

Op-Comic: China’s one-child policy left me lonely. As adults, my generation still feels lost

Two parents and a child stand in front of a wall with a sign written in Chinese characters

(Jianan Qian / For The Times)

By Jianan Qian

March 27, 2023 3:01 AM PT

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I was born under China's one-child policy, part of the only generation in history to result from such sweeping restrictions.

Chinese media described us as sure to be spoiled. In reality, I was lonely. I was home alone often with the tv for company.

In Shanghai, I was surrounded by only children and didn't question the policy. I couldn't imagine my family affording more.

In college I met roommates from rural areas who spoke about their siblings. I wondered what it would be like to have one.

My mother pinned all her hopes on me, and I was afraid of disappointing her. Sometimes this became a heavy burden to bear.

My mother seemed worried about getting pregnant despite her IUD. If she had a second child, she would have lost her job.

Years later, when my mother had brain surgery, a friend asked if she'd ever had an abortion. My mother shook her head: no.

China changed its policy in 2015. But now, amid talk of too few births, I worry officials will interfere with choices again.

As for my one-child generation, the worst is perhaps yet to come as children are obligated to take care of elderly parents.

Jianan Qian is a writer and illustrator in Los Angeles.

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